Il pleut

I do not like umbrellas; umbrellas do not like me. I nearly get my eyes poked out by oblivious people and my legs still get wet. Then there is the fact that the maximum lifespan for an umbrella is a year and that’s being generous. Between the wind, poor craftsmanship and the inevitable fact that I will forget it somewhere I really see no point to use umbrellas. Besides which there are too many assholes with GOLF umbrellas taking up the entire sidewalk, unable to negotiate with the other people with umbrellas and the poor bastards caught in the middle.