I went on my annual trip to see the Christmas lights at Van Dusen Garden's Celebration of Lights. I took a short video of the dancing light show and though youtube tells me that Sony may object to the content, as the lights are set to the "Nutcracker Suite", I thought I'd share the video here while I can.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
November catch-up
Before my introduction to the “drabble”, or the project you see here, I was very keen on the idea of linked vignettes. “The Joy Luck Club” can be read as a series of linked vignettes. I like the idea because I don’t think that I have a novel in me to write – but I think that I could write a couple of related vignettes. I also like the idea of a theme being carried over the series, or where one idea is carried over between segments. Or even a concrete portion of the past segment represented in the new one.
A lot goes into being a soccer mom: carpooling, knowing where the fields are, cheering, scheduling and bringing the half time and post game snacks. As a child it’s easy to take these behind the scenes actions for granted but I know that at half time I always looked forward to oranges and after the game there would be Capri Sun juices and a granola bar. A few years ago I joined a women’s soccer team and it took me awhile to realize what was missing: half time orange slices! Refreshing and energizing, the whole team enjoyed this childhood snack.
Vancouver is a city that experiences a great deal of rain throughout the year. Considering this fact, it is not unreasonable to expect that the Vancouver Parks Board would build fields with good drainage and placement. This is not the case however, and often the fields are deemed unplayable and soccer games get cancelled. When I was a child playing soccer, games were rarely cancelled because of the weather and we played on the playing fields. Hell, we played a game in the snow – white lines are hard to see in the snow! Two games have been cancelled thus far.
The weather outside was frightful and I was outside in it. A typical Vancouver downpour: sheeting rain downward and sideways if the wind is right. My walk home took me through the dog park at Nelson and Thurlow, a nicely redesigned park with a walkway that I often frequent on my way to and from work. This particular evening I cast my gaze up and saw water droplets like stars caught underneath my umbrella. They were the size of the droplets that bejewel a spider’s web in the morning – delicate and beguiling, I didn’t notice the downpour quite so much.
Growing up as I did in Truckee, clear skies without much (any) ambient light was the norm for me. I could always see the stars shining brightly – though my constellation recognition was limited to Orion and the Big Dipper. Or maybe it was the Little Dipper? Still, I have always been able to spy Orion in the night sky. When I moved to Oregon, I took an astronomy class that took field trips for star viewing. When I moved to British Columbia, I had to range farther afield to escape the city’s artificial light. Seven stars, three points of reference.
The first time I made the drive from Truckee to Vancouver my mom came with me to help me get settled. My car, a Toyota Corolla All-trac, was filled from top to bottom – including bike and ski racks on the roof. We had just enough room for the two of us in the front and a small snack cooler under my mom’s feet. It was a masterful piece of packing on our part. We crossed state lines and international borders and as we drove along the hedge-lined mansions of Southwest Marine Drive, I felt like a small town girl. Goll-lee.
My first two years in Vancouver, I existed largely in the University bubble – I lived in residence for a year and a half of that time. It was easy not to leave campus, or only to venture out a few blocks to pick up groceries at the nearby Safeway. I dreaded driving downtown because I always got lost on the one-way streets, the traffic was fast and bus drivers scared me. For part of this time I even lived off-campus, renting a room from an older woman, but I didn’t explore much of the neighborhood. The city still overwhelmed me.
A lot goes into being a soccer mom: carpooling, knowing where the fields are, cheering, scheduling and bringing the half time and post game snacks. As a child it’s easy to take these behind the scenes actions for granted but I know that at half time I always looked forward to oranges and after the game there would be Capri Sun juices and a granola bar. A few years ago I joined a women’s soccer team and it took me awhile to realize what was missing: half time orange slices! Refreshing and energizing, the whole team enjoyed this childhood snack.
Vancouver is a city that experiences a great deal of rain throughout the year. Considering this fact, it is not unreasonable to expect that the Vancouver Parks Board would build fields with good drainage and placement. This is not the case however, and often the fields are deemed unplayable and soccer games get cancelled. When I was a child playing soccer, games were rarely cancelled because of the weather and we played on the playing fields. Hell, we played a game in the snow – white lines are hard to see in the snow! Two games have been cancelled thus far.
The weather outside was frightful and I was outside in it. A typical Vancouver downpour: sheeting rain downward and sideways if the wind is right. My walk home took me through the dog park at Nelson and Thurlow, a nicely redesigned park with a walkway that I often frequent on my way to and from work. This particular evening I cast my gaze up and saw water droplets like stars caught underneath my umbrella. They were the size of the droplets that bejewel a spider’s web in the morning – delicate and beguiling, I didn’t notice the downpour quite so much.
Growing up as I did in Truckee, clear skies without much (any) ambient light was the norm for me. I could always see the stars shining brightly – though my constellation recognition was limited to Orion and the Big Dipper. Or maybe it was the Little Dipper? Still, I have always been able to spy Orion in the night sky. When I moved to Oregon, I took an astronomy class that took field trips for star viewing. When I moved to British Columbia, I had to range farther afield to escape the city’s artificial light. Seven stars, three points of reference.
The first time I made the drive from Truckee to Vancouver my mom came with me to help me get settled. My car, a Toyota Corolla All-trac, was filled from top to bottom – including bike and ski racks on the roof. We had just enough room for the two of us in the front and a small snack cooler under my mom’s feet. It was a masterful piece of packing on our part. We crossed state lines and international borders and as we drove along the hedge-lined mansions of Southwest Marine Drive, I felt like a small town girl. Goll-lee.
My first two years in Vancouver, I existed largely in the University bubble – I lived in residence for a year and a half of that time. It was easy not to leave campus, or only to venture out a few blocks to pick up groceries at the nearby Safeway. I dreaded driving downtown because I always got lost on the one-way streets, the traffic was fast and bus drivers scared me. For part of this time I even lived off-campus, renting a room from an older woman, but I didn’t explore much of the neighborhood. The city still overwhelmed me.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
bleary eyed
just wrote 30-odd emails to confirm details for american thanksgiving (observed). i'm declaring today a bye for the 100 word entry and i'm going to bed.
Traditionally Speaking
I’m big on traditions – particularly those associated with Christmas. I always decorate the Christmas tree while listening to Brenda Lee sing “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”. All decorations, movies and music are officially allowed after American Thanksgiving. Traditionally, I decorate the weekend after Thanksgiving while eating lots of leftovers. These are things that I remember from when I was a child.
When I was in Vancouver for my first Christmas away from home, I went to the Van Dusen Festival of Lights with amazing!P and her folks. It’s a tradition we have continued with friends, hot cider and good cheer.
When I was in Vancouver for my first Christmas away from home, I went to the Van Dusen Festival of Lights with amazing!P and her folks. It’s a tradition we have continued with friends, hot cider and good cheer.
Art(east)
On Sunday, amazing!T and amazing!P and I attended the Eastside Culture Crawl – well, we made it through two of the warehouses anyway. There were over 300 participating artists of all creeds and the venues were scattered east of Commercial Avenue and running between Alexander Street and 10th Avenue. There were many pieces that I didn’t understand but for the most part there was a lot of really neat and inspiring art. I have such respect for people who can create art – through whatever medium. I saw many paintings that I wish I could have adorning my – or a friend’s – walls.
Something in the Air
While at the “Evil Dead” musical, my friend and I were party to an unintentionally amusing situation. The air was periodically rank with some of the worst gas I have ever encountered. I believed that some audience member had a horrible bowel disease and tried to discreetly breathe through my scarf. My friend broke with social norms and actually commented on the stench during intermission. I hadn’t wanted to say anything in case the suffering person was within earshot but my friend thought that it was more likely produced by some of the stage equipment. I concurred but still wondered.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Evil Dead: The Musical
Last night I saw “Evil Dead: The Musical” in all its blood spray and glory. It has been a long time since I’ve seen the movies and I’ve actually seen “Army of Darkness” more times than I have either of the Evil Dead movies. Still, I love Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell is an amazing comedic actor with a flair for camp. There wasn’t as much blood spray as I was expecting given that there are 6 rows in the splatter section. The production scenery, costumes and singing were all over the top and awesome. A really fun night out.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
hi-dee-do
Although I can appear to be an outgoing person the truth is that I am quite socially awkward. I tend to be quiet and retiring when I’m in a group of people that I don’t know. I have managed to be more outgoing in one shining initial attempt – when I joined my soccer team. I toned down some of my more ribald jokes and behaviours but I was essentially myself. This was a feat that I have not yet been able to reproduce. I feel threatened in large groups: my conversation skills insufficient, my gestures too wild and wholly overwhelmed.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
orange i glad..
a friend won this monkey in vegas and his first thought was, gee, that looks like kirsten....
dreaming...
I saw the Arts Club production of “White Christmas” this evening. I typically wouldn’t watch the movie adaptation so shortly before attending a theatrical adaptation but in this case I have the movie memorized anyway. The production this evening did alter the plotline to incorporate more Irving Berlin songs and suit the limitations of the stage. The greatest weakness I felt this adaptation exhibited was the need to talk through each character motivation and subtle portrayals that the original cast of “White Christmas” had. Overall I had a great time and there were several large tap numbers which was awesome.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Christmastime routines
My two favorite Christmas movies are “White Christmas” and the 1947 version of “Miracle on 34th Street”. Christmas and Halloween are my two favorite holidays – they both have such wonderful decorations. But Christmas also has wonderful food and scents, movies and music. By the time American Thanksgiving rolls around I’m usually well into the mood of music and annual movie viewing. I’ve started listening to Christmas music as early as October, I was stressed and it made me happy, and this year I’m watching “White Christmas” in mid-November. I’m looking forward to putting up my decorations and starting my baking.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Puzzling
This evening I attended a potluck with a friend and the group of us played Cranium. I really do enjoy board games so the more people I know that play them, the better. I also joined two close friends who have many board games and bear with me that I am perpetually late. Growing up, my family often played card games and board games. I like playing and goofing around so to have an organized method is awesome. There are so many board games out there as well – I think I’m going to have to visit some game stores soon.
Take a look at me now...
My skin has a perfect balance of adolescent acne and the beginnings of lines. Laugh lines I don’t mind, I'm happy to be smiling that much. The furrows along my forehead I’m less thrilled by as they are the tracks of my confused expression. My eyebrows draw in and sometimes one is raised if I am near enough to question someone. A ‘’V’ forms above the bridge of my nose and I squint a bit – if I do it long enough I get a headache. Which makes sense, since I’m confused. Then there are the lines from my surprised expression…
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Writing style
“It was a bit soppy…I left out that bit about her name being entwined around my heart as a rose vine around a cottage door.”
I love Jeeves and Wooster, it is such an amusing show. Stephen Fry as Jeeves is just a treasure; his response to the above about writing love letters is fantastic. I think that at my most sentimental I tend to lapse into prose that evokes the spirit of Jane Austen (in my mind). I like the fact that such language today is a bit playful but also resonates emotionally.
Sometimes I channel Anais Nin instead.
I love Jeeves and Wooster, it is such an amusing show. Stephen Fry as Jeeves is just a treasure; his response to the above about writing love letters is fantastic. I think that at my most sentimental I tend to lapse into prose that evokes the spirit of Jane Austen (in my mind). I like the fact that such language today is a bit playful but also resonates emotionally.
Sometimes I channel Anais Nin instead.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Through the social medium of facebook I’ve found out about my ten year high school reunion this summer. I’ve not been contacted directly and I won’t be attending in any event. I do find it interesting however, to peruse the group and read the comments and suggestions of these people that I grew up with. So many of them are married, with one or more children, and living in the area still. I don’t want to go back and see these people who know all about me and the person I used to be. I want to keep moving forward.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Recovery
“What’s a Truckee? What are you referencing?”
If it’s one thing I love, it’s explaining my hometown’s name. Everyone seems to think that I am joking when I say that I’m from Truckee and then I get the jokes about truck stops. (Which everyone knows is really Baxter – the truck stop that burned down and was never rebuilt.) Growing up in a small mountain town didn’t do me much harm – aside from instilling the need to move away! I grew up playing in a National forest as my backyard, plentiful hiking and swimming in lakes and lots of team sports.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
When one project isn't enough...
I can be a bit overly optimistic about my personal goal setting. For instance, I always used to plan to get up early in the morning and workout – or at least do some yoga. I’ve given up on that concept as there’s not much that will get me out of bed in the morning. Lately I’ve been coming across people who are taking a self-portrait picture every day for a year. So I’ve been thinking that would be an interesting project to post between writing segments. It would be a fun way to play with my camera and my perceptions.
Toothy grin
I’m not sure what I changed about my routine that I feel so tired in the mornings. I used to get up at 6am and be productive – eat my breakfast, clean the dishes and make my lunch and get out the door in a timely fashion. These days I’m lucky to get out of bed let alone out the door. Something has to have changed in my eating habits, exercise routine or just my sleeping pattern. Actually, I worry about my teeth. My boss had an abscess and she was always tired. I have nightmares about my teeth falling out.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
AO-Hell
“You've Got Mail” is playing on TV and it makes me laugh because of the heavy integration of AOL and chatrooms. At the time that movie was released, relationships that came out of meetings in chatrooms were not the stuff of social acceptance. Certainly nowhere near as accepted as all the dating sites online today.
What’s more amusing are the sequences where the computers access the internet through a dial-up connection. I remember the high occasion when my family got a computer and then the slow process of connecting to the internet. Thank goodness for fast cable internet these days.
What’s more amusing are the sequences where the computers access the internet through a dial-up connection. I remember the high occasion when my family got a computer and then the slow process of connecting to the internet. Thank goodness for fast cable internet these days.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Rainy days
Vancouver is an umbrella kind of city. It rains, the sidewalks are a sea of umbrellas. It’s cloudy, umrellas are stashed in purses or in hand. It snows, the sidewalks are a sea of umbrellas. Wait, what? Snow? I grew up with snow – one does not use an umbrella for snow. Unless one is in Vancouver. In a city where umbrellas are so prevalent, it would be reasonable to expect that the sidewalks would be easily navigated. Wrong. Major offenders include the golf umbrella wielders, those who can’t pass another umbrella, walking under covered walkways with an umbrella…oh the irritations!
Sotto voce
From time to time, I am called upon to help answer phones at my office. This has been the case at all of my positions in my working history and I’ve found one prevalent trend: my voice changes. It’s not that I think that I have an overly gruff or irritating voice under other circumstances but I guess I have some notions of how I should sound in a professional manner. Which could just as easily translate to a higher register of vocabulary and enhanced pronunciation. But I don’t stop at semantics, my voice gains a saccharine and sing-song tone.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Mirror, Mirror on the wall...I am my mother after all
My mother has several bits that relate to our family in her comedy routine. One of her bits is about putting away dishes in the dishwasher or emptying the dishwasher. I have been revisited with her frustrations, with a vengeance, at my office. Two people out of ten will put their dishes in the dishwasher; the rest will merely put them in the sink and expect a fairy to do the rest. I don’t understand it. If it’s a chore you expect your children to complete, the least you could do is lead by example. Even while in the workplace.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Shut the front door
I have come to an interesting point in my career wherein I have one vendor that I would seriously contemplate working for part-time – just so that my company’s invoice would stop being such a nightmare. This is arrogant of course because I have no idea what accounting system this vendor uses nor the client volume, though I expect it to be fairly significant. Even so, I can’t help thinking that since I have outlasted five accounts receivable clerks in as many years then I might just be able to handle whatever they’ve got. If only to preserve my own sanity.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Best convo ever
*ring, ring*
"Oooh hellllloo formerroommate!K!"
"Hellllooo lady friend!"
"Oooh, lady friend? *lascivious tone intended* does that come ...with privileges?"
"oh Kirsten, if it hasn't you've taken them anyway."
YES. I have the best friends ever.
"Oooh hellllloo formerroommate!K!"
"Hellllooo lady friend!"
"Oooh, lady friend? *lascivious tone intended* does that come ...with privileges?"
"oh Kirsten, if it hasn't you've taken them anyway."
YES. I have the best friends ever.
Bathroom Reader
I’m going to take a moment to talk about the bathroom. Yah, it’s a place where we do business that isn’t the stuff of polite conversation. (Unless you’re a runner, in which case then guaranteed the moment you run the half marathon distance you’re gonna talk poo.) The communal bathroom of my building suffers from people who cannot flush the toilet, aim while hovering over the toilet and the subsequent offence of not cleaning up after failing in their aim. If you can’t hover and aim, then you are a part of the problem you wish to avoid! It’s elementary.
Monday, November 2, 2009
auto-focus
I find it difficult to write my entries for this project when I am writing more outside of these parameters. It may be work related or personal correspondence but I find that the ideas I have for this project get relegated to the word processor in my head. This often happens with email replies that are long overdue or issues that I don’t particularly want to address. In a sense, this writing project is an issue that I don’t want to address as it makes me focus on what I want from my writing. I’m not very good at focusing.
le chat noir
So I have mentioned before that I am a cat person – I have oft repeated that I am destined to be the cat lady up on the hill in the purple house. Over the past week I have been taking care of two cats at two apartments and I have come to an important conclusion. Being on meds for the rest of my life is one thing – I need to make sure they are effective meds. Allergy pills? Benedryl? Reactin? Not highly efficient. I think that where there is a cat in my future, there will also be allergy shots.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Loquacious
Susurration: n. A soft, whispering or rustling sound; a murmur.
Yesterday morning I awoke to the susurrous sound of rain falling steadily on trees, balcony and street. It is a calming sound and had I opened the window then I could have added the higher pitter-patter of droplets hitting the glass.
Susurration is one of those words that sounds like its meaning; it is a purring rumble that makes its way out of the mouth. I love the sheer volume of vocabulary – the way I am surprised by the sudden recollection of a word or stumbling across a new one.
Yesterday morning I awoke to the susurrous sound of rain falling steadily on trees, balcony and street. It is a calming sound and had I opened the window then I could have added the higher pitter-patter of droplets hitting the glass.
Susurration is one of those words that sounds like its meaning; it is a purring rumble that makes its way out of the mouth. I love the sheer volume of vocabulary – the way I am surprised by the sudden recollection of a word or stumbling across a new one.
These Boots Were(n't) Made for Walking
“I’m gonna find shoes and I’m ready for the weekend.” This is the chorus to one of the many random songs of the morning. I think that it is funny that while that must be a common utterance for many women, I do not believe I would have incorporated it into a song. On my way to work in the morning I observe the many styles of footwear women walk in. I can see ankles flexing outward, heels lifting from the back of shoes and the half-steps taken to balance a particularly high pair of heels. We deserve better quality.
Winging Along
I love to fly; I love the pressure of take-off and I love the dropping sensation of landing. I love turbulence and way the very word embodies the motion of the plane and the force of air, the force of the unseen. I always ask for a window seat because I enjoy looking over the earth, seeing the imprints that we have made upon it. Twinkling patches of thrumming life and the quiet expanses of less populated land; flying to you I would pass over vast stretches of ocean, I could be coming from anywhere but still going to you.
Nutty
Fall and winter are my two favorite seasons. There are many horse chestnut trees along the street where I live and for the last two months, great green spiny bulbs have been growing overhead. They have swollen to massive proportions that now sway in the gentlest of breezes with the promise of a headache should one strike you on the way down to earth. The nickname “conkers” is quite appropriate as I believe I’d conk right out if I were hit. Active squirrels make the streets more dangerous yet as they shake conkers free, scattering spiny encasements and nuts alike.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Mrow
I have always been a cat person. I like all animals – I even considered becoming a vet and I grew up with dogs. But I have to say that cats are my favorite and given the choice between cats and dogs, dogs would lose. I love the quirks and grace of a cat’s personality and its independence. Cats still need love and affection but it’s that mix of independence and … cuddling that is so adorable. My family is quick to bring up my allergies when I mention getting cats but for me, a lifetime on allergy meds isn’t unreasonable.
Fashion Forward
There are very few stores whose clothing actually fits me well. Most designs that actually are carried above an 8 don’t care to alter the pattern to suit the change in body type. As a result, there is a lot of awkwardly fitting clothing out there. Fortunately I’ve found Esprit whose clothing actually fits me, has nice lines and prints I like. It’s a wardrobe miracle! The downside to this miracle would be the price tag, although cheaper than many other brands, it’s still not cheap. My wardrobe improvement strategy: shop the clearance racks and the sales! Yay bargain hunting!
Much Music
I used to have a routine that was straight forward and relatively simple. It involved dragging myself out of bed to watch Stargate SG1 and Atlantis while slowly making my breakfast and getting ready for work. (It also on occasion involved me falling asleep on the couch through one of the episodes.)
Space changed their schedule.
Now I flip channels and most often wind up watching Much Music. At this hour, some insomniacs have voted on the songs they want to hear. I have witnessed some of the most random and truly awful songs as a result. Why Space, why?
Space changed their schedule.
Now I flip channels and most often wind up watching Much Music. At this hour, some insomniacs have voted on the songs they want to hear. I have witnessed some of the most random and truly awful songs as a result. Why Space, why?
Proletariat Chariot
There are two kinds of public transit operators -- those who remember the pain of riding public transit and those who've relinquished their souls to the icy grips of indifference. Indifference if you're lucky -- malicious power tripping if the fates are not with you. I don't understand why sweet simple logic loses its foothold on something so basic as a timetable. Common courtesy is frequently absent as well which only adds a level of rider induced hell. A bevy of excuses and ready reasons await to beg pardon but I would prefer to spend less time in a handbasket.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Hell on Wheels
Amazing!M and I went to see “Whip It” and I am so glad we did. Amazing!L had attended a live roller derby event and called me afterwards to tell me to sign up. “I’ve found your people!” she said, “They dress up in costumes, wear crazy makeup and take other people out. It’s perfect for you.”
How right she was! If only for the fact that I can’t roller skate I would absolutely try out for one of the local roller derby teams. It’s fun, raucous and full contact – sounds like a hoot to me. Did I mention the costumes?
How right she was! If only for the fact that I can’t roller skate I would absolutely try out for one of the local roller derby teams. It’s fun, raucous and full contact – sounds like a hoot to me. Did I mention the costumes?
Ghostwriter
I have the habit of writing things in my head and then never getting around to writing them in fact. The worst instance of this habit is exhibited in my correspondence; in an age of email and near instant communication, I constantly forget to send these “written” missives. The other instance that is easily recognized would be this blog. I have thought up and considered any number of topics that have thoughts on that can be expressed in 100 words. But I keep forgetting to actually, you know, write and post them. A critical step, I think you will agree.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Gigglesnitcher
I once thought about writing a Harlequin romance novel and observing all the stereotypes with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. There has been such a resurgence within the romance genre however, that I think that any attempt I made would be less humorous and appear more to be making fun of the readers. That’s not something I want to do – I like to make people laugh with me. Not at others and I’m learning to not make the jokes about myself. I just love to make people laugh, it makes me happy. Especially when I make awesome!L giggle.
NaNoWriMo
I received my first email regarding National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November yesterday. Each year for the past three years I have signed up and tried to write my 50,000 words in a month (well, last year I didn’t even try). It means writing 1,666 words a day for the month of November – I can barely get in my 100 words a day here. It comes down to the question I’ve had since graduating university – do I actually want to be a writer? Everyone has one story to tell, theirs, but is it one worth the telling? Or reading?
Monday, September 28, 2009
run girl run
i've never reached that runner's high that people speak of. i really enjoy my soccer games and there will be moments when i'm chasing down a ball and i successfully get a foot on it that i feel pretty rock star awesome. those moments don't last.
but these photos pretty well capture how i feel when i'm chasing down a ball and my energy is right. twinkle toes.
but these photos pretty well capture how i feel when i'm chasing down a ball and my energy is right. twinkle toes.
by the chimes
When I began running three-odd years ago, I started with the Learn to Run clinic. We ran one minute and walked for two. Over the course of ten weeks, we worked our way up to running ten minutes and walking one minute; each interval marked by the beeping of a watch. I have continued with the ten and one’s ever since and I now find myself utterly trained to the sound of the beeps. I can be mid-sentence in a conversation, the beep sounds, and I’m off running. I have to laugh – and apologize for interrupted conversations. Sit, heel, stay.
Cherry on top
In life, many things can be the icing on top. I got flowers on my birthday, that was the icing on a great day. Just that something that makes everything so much better. There’s also icing of the baking variety which I find people often subscribe to the opinion that more is more better. Not the case. I am not a fan of heavy icing on my baked goods – I tend feel ill and it overpowers whatever treat I’m trying to enjoy. There is one icing however, that I do love – funfetti icing. It’s an explosion of fun! And tasty!
hoo ya
The other night, amazing!M and I watched G.I. Jane while I made funfetti cupcakes to bring to my bowling birthday party. (Sadly, the funfetti icing melted all over the cupcakes in the covered container so now amazing!M and I will be eating 20 cupcakes. Which brings me back to the movie.) I like G.I. Jane, I think it’s neat to showcase a woman entering and competing equally in such a boy’s club atmosphere. The scenes with Demi Moore doing all the different pushups though? Yow-za. I feel the need to go to the gym – and not leave. Meaning, no cupcakes.
Details, details
There are many ways to gauge civilization and quality of life. I’m going to take a moment to be shallow – my quality of life expectations include en suite laundry. (Do you see how blessed my life is? Not food, water or shelter – but appliances. Still.) The search to find a one bedroom apartment in Vancouver with en suite laundry is a very expensive one; rent’s not exactly cheap in the first place. The ease of washing your laundry in your own home, not worrying about things being stolen or if there will be a machine free or having exact change….
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
sports fans
I don’t often attend sporting events so I’m always surprised when I enjoy them so much. I really love the energy of the crowd and how into the game they are. This is always brought home to me when I watch a hockey game – right from the first time seven years ago. Sure, it may be a cliché that Canadians love their hockey. But…most Canadians love their hockey. Hell, I get into it and I know next to nothing about it! I love the spirit, the cheering, the jeering and the running commentaries. I love the smiles and the camaraderie.
Point of reference
I first became interested in 100 word segments because of writing "drabbles" in the CSI: Las Vegas fandom. These were my inspiration for this project:
Green – Health-wise – Group – G
Greg’s face reflected all of his suspicions and disgust, despite his intimate knowledge of all things swabbed, as he carefully shut the break room fridge door.
“Grissom’s at it again,” such simple words to inspire groans from all present in the room. “It’s green and…frothy. It might be growing.”
Neither Warrick nor Nick rose to confirm Greg’s analysis. They were still debating who would speak to Grissom this time when Sara and Catherine entered the room. Ignoring the boys’ squabbling, Sara grabbed her lunch and took a swig. Total silence met her as she asked, “What? You want some?”
Black – Buffed – Brass/Sofia – G
The leather shoes looked supple as Brass put away the blackened cleaning and buffing cloths, the little jars clinking as he placed them under the bathroom sink. He then swept the iron over his slacks quickly before pulling them on. Men didn’t dress as formally for the evening these days but he tucked his polo shirt in anyway. It was just drinks with a colleague, he told himself. But he combed his hair with care and patted on aftershave.
He knocked on her door promptly at eight and murmured a quiet “you look lovely Sofia” before taking her arm.
Brown – Wool – Grissom w/implied GSR – G
In the back of Grissom’s closet, behind the winter clothes he never used and the formal shoes rarely worn, there was a carefully wrapped package. Leaving the duvet in the guest room, he had long ago put a tan wool blanket inside. Perhaps not so long ago – not so long that the blanket still smelled of her and shared coffee. Not so long ago that she could pause just a moment with her arm over his shoulders.
These days the duvet rests in its plastic capsule and the wool blanket rests neatly folded across the foot of his bed.
Gold - Alloy - Brass - G
“You’ve got a real heart of gold, you know that?” the cuffed woman sneered at Brass as he ducked her head down into the patrol car.
“Actually,” he pointed to his name on the badge, “it’s an alloy of copper and zinc. You can look up ‘alloy’ when you get downtown.” He shut the door and thumped the roof of the car twice before turning to the amused CSIs next to him.
“Gee Jim,” Sara drawled, “I didn’t know that you had an interest in metallurgy.”
“I wonder who might’ve told me that.”
Grissom just shrugged and smiled.
Silver - Counting Game - Sara/Grissom - G
Sara sipped her coffee absently, a magazine forgotten in her lap. From the couch, her eyes narrowed as she counted the threads of silver in Grissom’s beard. Trouble was, she kept getting sidetracked by the curve of his lips or the gentle creases by his eyes. His hand briefly obscured her vision and she had to start over. One, two, three…. Grissom stood and Sara busied herself in her article only to feel a small tug at her scalp.
Sara looked up to meet Grissom’s gaze on a long silver hair held delicately between his fingers.
“Your first one.”
Pink - Working It - Warrick - G
Warrick was used to the murmurs when he walked into a crowded bar. Murmurs and no few admiring, and sometimes downright inviting, looks. It was a bit of a surprise to create that kind of stir around the lab, however. After people adjusted to his ‘do and seeing the top three buttons of his shirt undone, he got more comments if he covered up.
He adjusted the cuffs of his shirt and checked his collar before shrugging and heading into locker room. “S’up?” he greeted Greg and sat down. Greg looked him over and said, “Nice pink shirt man.”
Red - Cherry Drop - Sara - PG
Sara paused in photographing the playground, her gaze caught by the staggered bars. She remembered hanging upside down from them as a child, arms and hair swaying as she tried to work up the guts to do a cherry drop. Most of the girls in her class had already mastered the dismount.
Sweaty palms had clenched the bar before she released her legs as she swung and dropped – onto her face. Later, she had winced as the school nurse disinfected the cut on her cheek, the gauze turning red. “I fell,” she said. And for once it was true.
Orange - Comedians - Nick/Greg - G
“Okay, okay, I’ve got one. There are two sausages in a frying pan, and one rolls over and says to other, ‘Man. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?’ And the other sausage goes, ‘Ahh!’” Nick held his hands to cheeks before continuing, “‘A talking sausage!’”
Greg laughed and said, “Alright. You’ve brought this upon yourself. Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana.”
“Banana who?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Orange you glad I cut this joke short?”
“Why don’t I show you how glad I am….”
No more jokes were told but there was still laughter.
Yellow - Daisies - Catherine - G
Catherine remembered tickling Lindsey’s feet with daisies while humming “You are my sunshine”. She remembered Lindsey’s hands reaching for yellow center of the daisy, reaching for the sun and giggling.
Catherine remembered Lindsey coming home from third grade and announcing that each petal on a daisy was a flower. “When you get daisies, you’re getting hundreds of flowers Mom. Hundreds.”
Catherine remembered daisy chains crowning Lindsey’s head on a hot summer day, the water coalescing on glasses of lemonade.
She wondered when Lindsey had stopped liking daisies, when she stopped seeing the sun – but Lindsey was always her sunshine.
Purple - Primer - Sara Sidle - G
When she was a child, Sara had wanted to paint her walls purple. Instead she got posters from school – fantasy art, science, calming nature scenes…things that took her away.
Grissom offered her a job; Sara went apartment hunting. “Can you paint the walls?”
She painted the living room one morning after a double shift. The coffee poured down her throat as the paint was rolled on the walls. It went smoothly over the surface with no blemishes or holes to mar its surface. She brushed her hair away from her face, a trace of paint left on the smooth plane of her cheek.
Blue - Laid Bare - Grissom/Reader's pick - G/PG-13
It would be so easy to spend time unmeasured studying the blue of his eyes. To describe how they were the windows to his soul and opened new windows to your eyes. And because it would be so easy to do, you don't.
Besides which, nothing about him is ever easy; he demands too much of life for that. He has no rough edges that offer a fingerhold; he is smooth, polished planes that reflect back only you.
And if you can accept that, then you can accept what you see in his blue eyes everytime he calls your name.
Green – Health-wise – Group – G
Greg’s face reflected all of his suspicions and disgust, despite his intimate knowledge of all things swabbed, as he carefully shut the break room fridge door.
“Grissom’s at it again,” such simple words to inspire groans from all present in the room. “It’s green and…frothy. It might be growing.”
Neither Warrick nor Nick rose to confirm Greg’s analysis. They were still debating who would speak to Grissom this time when Sara and Catherine entered the room. Ignoring the boys’ squabbling, Sara grabbed her lunch and took a swig. Total silence met her as she asked, “What? You want some?”
Black – Buffed – Brass/Sofia – G
The leather shoes looked supple as Brass put away the blackened cleaning and buffing cloths, the little jars clinking as he placed them under the bathroom sink. He then swept the iron over his slacks quickly before pulling them on. Men didn’t dress as formally for the evening these days but he tucked his polo shirt in anyway. It was just drinks with a colleague, he told himself. But he combed his hair with care and patted on aftershave.
He knocked on her door promptly at eight and murmured a quiet “you look lovely Sofia” before taking her arm.
Brown – Wool – Grissom w/implied GSR – G
In the back of Grissom’s closet, behind the winter clothes he never used and the formal shoes rarely worn, there was a carefully wrapped package. Leaving the duvet in the guest room, he had long ago put a tan wool blanket inside. Perhaps not so long ago – not so long that the blanket still smelled of her and shared coffee. Not so long ago that she could pause just a moment with her arm over his shoulders.
These days the duvet rests in its plastic capsule and the wool blanket rests neatly folded across the foot of his bed.
Gold - Alloy - Brass - G
“You’ve got a real heart of gold, you know that?” the cuffed woman sneered at Brass as he ducked her head down into the patrol car.
“Actually,” he pointed to his name on the badge, “it’s an alloy of copper and zinc. You can look up ‘alloy’ when you get downtown.” He shut the door and thumped the roof of the car twice before turning to the amused CSIs next to him.
“Gee Jim,” Sara drawled, “I didn’t know that you had an interest in metallurgy.”
“I wonder who might’ve told me that.”
Grissom just shrugged and smiled.
Silver - Counting Game - Sara/Grissom - G
Sara sipped her coffee absently, a magazine forgotten in her lap. From the couch, her eyes narrowed as she counted the threads of silver in Grissom’s beard. Trouble was, she kept getting sidetracked by the curve of his lips or the gentle creases by his eyes. His hand briefly obscured her vision and she had to start over. One, two, three…. Grissom stood and Sara busied herself in her article only to feel a small tug at her scalp.
Sara looked up to meet Grissom’s gaze on a long silver hair held delicately between his fingers.
“Your first one.”
Pink - Working It - Warrick - G
Warrick was used to the murmurs when he walked into a crowded bar. Murmurs and no few admiring, and sometimes downright inviting, looks. It was a bit of a surprise to create that kind of stir around the lab, however. After people adjusted to his ‘do and seeing the top three buttons of his shirt undone, he got more comments if he covered up.
He adjusted the cuffs of his shirt and checked his collar before shrugging and heading into locker room. “S’up?” he greeted Greg and sat down. Greg looked him over and said, “Nice pink shirt man.”
Red - Cherry Drop - Sara - PG
Sara paused in photographing the playground, her gaze caught by the staggered bars. She remembered hanging upside down from them as a child, arms and hair swaying as she tried to work up the guts to do a cherry drop. Most of the girls in her class had already mastered the dismount.
Sweaty palms had clenched the bar before she released her legs as she swung and dropped – onto her face. Later, she had winced as the school nurse disinfected the cut on her cheek, the gauze turning red. “I fell,” she said. And for once it was true.
Orange - Comedians - Nick/Greg - G
“Okay, okay, I’ve got one. There are two sausages in a frying pan, and one rolls over and says to other, ‘Man. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?’ And the other sausage goes, ‘Ahh!’” Nick held his hands to cheeks before continuing, “‘A talking sausage!’”
Greg laughed and said, “Alright. You’ve brought this upon yourself. Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana.”
“Banana who?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Orange you glad I cut this joke short?”
“Why don’t I show you how glad I am….”
No more jokes were told but there was still laughter.
Yellow - Daisies - Catherine - G
Catherine remembered tickling Lindsey’s feet with daisies while humming “You are my sunshine”. She remembered Lindsey’s hands reaching for yellow center of the daisy, reaching for the sun and giggling.
Catherine remembered Lindsey coming home from third grade and announcing that each petal on a daisy was a flower. “When you get daisies, you’re getting hundreds of flowers Mom. Hundreds.”
Catherine remembered daisy chains crowning Lindsey’s head on a hot summer day, the water coalescing on glasses of lemonade.
She wondered when Lindsey had stopped liking daisies, when she stopped seeing the sun – but Lindsey was always her sunshine.
Purple - Primer - Sara Sidle - G
When she was a child, Sara had wanted to paint her walls purple. Instead she got posters from school – fantasy art, science, calming nature scenes…things that took her away.
Grissom offered her a job; Sara went apartment hunting. “Can you paint the walls?”
She painted the living room one morning after a double shift. The coffee poured down her throat as the paint was rolled on the walls. It went smoothly over the surface with no blemishes or holes to mar its surface. She brushed her hair away from her face, a trace of paint left on the smooth plane of her cheek.
Blue - Laid Bare - Grissom/Reader's pick - G/PG-13
It would be so easy to spend time unmeasured studying the blue of his eyes. To describe how they were the windows to his soul and opened new windows to your eyes. And because it would be so easy to do, you don't.
Besides which, nothing about him is ever easy; he demands too much of life for that. He has no rough edges that offer a fingerhold; he is smooth, polished planes that reflect back only you.
And if you can accept that, then you can accept what you see in his blue eyes everytime he calls your name.
Variations 5
I wake up before my alarm goes off, light is filtering dimly past the quilt hung over my window and it brings out the warms tones of your skin. My hand comes up to rub at my eyes and I smile. “Good morning.” We snuggle in, legs tangled, face to face and eye to eye. Your eyes gaze into mine and flicker slightly as they watch your fingers trace my face. I smile, kiss the tip of your nose. My apartment is quiet and I enjoy the way your company fills it. No snooze, my eyes rest easy on you.
Variations 4
My alarm goes off, I throw back the covers and slip-slide my feet along the carpet (step over the internet cord in the middle of the room) and hit snooze the third time. I will treat myself today and take an extra snooze. I return to bed and rest on my left side; my right shoulder aches sometimes when I’ve been sleeping on it too long. Better to switch sides and acquaint myself with different pillows, positions. I wonder if it wouldn’t just be better to set my alarm for thirty minutes later and get the uninterrupted rest. Nine minutes.
Variations 3
My alarm goes off, I throw back the covers and slip-slide my feet along the carpet (step over the internet cord in the middle of the room) and turn off the alarm. I turn on the TV next to the alarm and retrace my path back towards the bedroom. I pause, lean and double tap the space bar of my keyboard. (Wakey-wakey.) I collect my glasses from my bedside table and go to the bathroom with the muted sounds of the Space channel coming from the living room. I pass through the kitchen, start the coffee and go sit down.
Variations 2
My alarm goes off, I throw back the covers and slip-slide my feet along the carpet (step over the internet cord in the middle of the room) and hit snooze the second time. Each time I pass my bookshelf I smell lavender – lavender from BC and from Maui – and it smells so comforting. I crawl back under the covers of my bed and rub my face against the weave of my pillow cover. (Sleepy head.) I like the way the fabric feels and I sigh, settling into sleep. I dream; disjointed fragments of reality and flights of fancy. Nine minutes.
Variations on a theme
My alarm is set for 5am – I have a system of three snoozes. Each snooze break is nine minutes: my alarm goes off, I throw back the covers and slip-slide my feet along the carpet (step over the internet cord in the middle of the room) and hit snooze the first time. My bedroom window is open so when I return to bed it has lost much of my body heat. I snuggle under the covers again, toss a leg over the body pillow and wrap an arm around my hippo to rest my chin on its nose. Nine minutes.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
raw
Unfinished.
Unfinished wood, the raw materials with which you might begin to build something. Shape and form and slide a skin over to create something new, to remodel, to refine. Unfinished wood, with all the natural quirks – whorls – burns and growth – intact and displayed. Unvarnished; the whole truth, nothing but the truth – look me in the eyes and tell me the truth.
Unfinished fashion, raw edges and trailing serge threads that catch in your zipper. Deconstructed and unhemmed lines; messiness and laziness made fashionable and cheap construction rewarded with fancy price tags.
“Not altered from an original or natural state.”
Unfinished wood, the raw materials with which you might begin to build something. Shape and form and slide a skin over to create something new, to remodel, to refine. Unfinished wood, with all the natural quirks – whorls – burns and growth – intact and displayed. Unvarnished; the whole truth, nothing but the truth – look me in the eyes and tell me the truth.
Unfinished fashion, raw edges and trailing serge threads that catch in your zipper. Deconstructed and unhemmed lines; messiness and laziness made fashionable and cheap construction rewarded with fancy price tags.
“Not altered from an original or natural state.”
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
woven
Spin, spun, spinning. The words come twisting, shaping, tapering down to the wheel from the sternum to pelvis focal point. What tentative mental tweaks and shifts attempt to eliminate the chaff to produce a smooth and strong, coherent, stream to the page, the ear, the heart. Anchored within myself, how long is the line cast to be caught and secured.
Once I read of cloth woven of spun emotions – such light, shimmering cloth of joy and the thorn studded chafing cloth of despair.
So, the words. So, the moments. So, so. Shh, shh. Let the fingers be deft, mind the weft, mind the warp – mind the mind and the waves cast upon its shores.
Once I read of cloth woven of spun emotions – such light, shimmering cloth of joy and the thorn studded chafing cloth of despair.
So, the words. So, the moments. So, so. Shh, shh. Let the fingers be deft, mind the weft, mind the warp – mind the mind and the waves cast upon its shores.
Compliments Tendered
For all that I enjoy giving compliments in a manner both over-the-top and sincere, I have a difficult time accepting compliments. Nowhere is this more evident than when I am playing soccer. During my most recent game, my coach complimented me during half-time; he said I was playing a solid game and I hadn’t cleared too many balls straight out. I was pleased of course but I could think only of all the balls that I had missed. When I went out onto the field again for the second half I had a hard time focusing and felt oddly self-conscious.
Pretty Ink
I have four tattoos; my last two were done five years ago. I am fighting off the urge to get a new one quite often now. I have thought of one or two new designs and of course there is always my dragon. I was thinking of getting the word “reflect” on my right wrist in the same style as my “quiet” tattoo. I’ve also thought of interlocking circles in an infinity symbol; one circle would be the Stargate and the other would be Xena’s chakram. But of course it always comes back to my dragon in flight design. Someday.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Mountain Air
Growing up in Truckee, a town whose main source of income was tourism, I developed a superior attitude regarding those people who were second-homers or visitors. Any visitor from the Bay Area or lived at sea level was a ‘flat lander’. I have spent the majority of the last nine years at sea level. I am become a flat lander when I return to visit my family.
I have to adjust my breathing. The winters seem colder. In short, I am what I mocked in my childhood.
Yet I am become myself, as an adult and following my own path.
I have to adjust my breathing. The winters seem colder. In short, I am what I mocked in my childhood.
Yet I am become myself, as an adult and following my own path.
Friday, September 11, 2009
leaf, or: how the title of my poem is actually the poem and not the title. leaf.
Twist and pull, give and take
Stretched out and elongated spine
Arms and breasts high
Eyes drawn closed
Draw down the lines
My jaw
My cheek
My collarbone
My desires
My heart
My mind
Draw down the lines
Lips parted to speak
Words brought so low
Coiled tight and unexpressed
Give and take, twist and pull
Too hasty
To draw down the lines
//
Free form
Flying form
From free fall
Through it all
To be so grounded
Just
Stopped
Want to pick up and go
Wings at my feet and
Soar
Should I feel so sore
Attribute that lacking
To lack of practice
Stop the useless mutterings
Stand up
Tall
And so bare
Without cringing, flinching, censure
Tall
And so standing
Stand free to bow
Down to the ground
Grounded
Pinioned myself
Yet yearning still.
Stretched out and elongated spine
Arms and breasts high
Eyes drawn closed
Draw down the lines
My jaw
My cheek
My collarbone
My desires
My heart
My mind
Draw down the lines
Lips parted to speak
Words brought so low
Coiled tight and unexpressed
Give and take, twist and pull
Too hasty
To draw down the lines
//
Free form
Flying form
From free fall
Through it all
To be so grounded
Just
Stopped
Want to pick up and go
Wings at my feet and
Soar
Should I feel so sore
Attribute that lacking
To lack of practice
Stop the useless mutterings
Stand up
Tall
And so bare
Without cringing, flinching, censure
Tall
And so standing
Stand free to bow
Down to the ground
Grounded
Pinioned myself
Yet yearning still.
ch-ch-changes
“I find sometimes it’s easy to be myself
Sometimes I find better to be somebody else”
DMB – “So Much To Say”
I can make myself mutable to better suit myself to what I perceive are my current social environments. When I was younger I alternated between quiet reticence and being keen to please others. The latter usually manifested itself in awkward and inappropriate joking and goofing around. The former no one believes of me any longer.
I have a tattoo on my wrist that says “quiet”. To remind me when I should be quieter – I do not have scream to fill the silence – and when I should be louder – I need to speak on my behalf, not just that of others.
Sometimes I find better to be somebody else”
DMB – “So Much To Say”
I can make myself mutable to better suit myself to what I perceive are my current social environments. When I was younger I alternated between quiet reticence and being keen to please others. The latter usually manifested itself in awkward and inappropriate joking and goofing around. The former no one believes of me any longer.
I have a tattoo on my wrist that says “quiet”. To remind me when I should be quieter – I do not have scream to fill the silence – and when I should be louder – I need to speak on my behalf, not just that of others.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
that girl - esthero
that girl
In the bat of an eye you already think about yourself
And I don't believe all the lies coming out of my mouth
Try to forget all the things that I did to myself
And in time I see it fading
One of these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
Oh, I just don't belong here
And look at that girl
Aphrodite tonight, she's lifting up her dress and child
Her stomach is so tight and she feels herself fading
One of these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
I just don't belong here
And look at that girl
And I'll try to catch my own vibe, leave behind the countryside
Who I'll be, when I'll be, cause it's my right to love design
One of these these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
I just don't belong here
And look at that girl
[2x]
In the bat of an eye you already think about yourself
And I don't believe all the lies coming out of my mouth
Try to forget all the things that I did to myself
And in time I see it fading
One of these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
Oh, I just don't belong here
And look at that girl
Aphrodite tonight, she's lifting up her dress and child
Her stomach is so tight and she feels herself fading
One of these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
I just don't belong here
And look at that girl
And I'll try to catch my own vibe, leave behind the countryside
Who I'll be, when I'll be, cause it's my right to love design
One of these these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
I just don't belong here
And look at that girl
[2x]
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
singing in the rain
For whatever reason, song lyrics pop into my head for a variety of occasions; usually because some part of the lyrics matches the current events. After my run on Monday in the chill weather of Truckee, I should have been prepared for the return of Fall and Vancouver’s rain. There have been other early mornings when I’ve woken to the patter of steady rainfall. This morning the rain kept coming and as always, “Here Comes the Rain Again” came to mind. I love the song on its own but every time I’m out and it begins to rain, I hum.
here comes the rain again - eurythmics
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
Oooooh
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(here it comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
video here
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
Oooooh
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(here it comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
video here
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
larger than life
Often when the scenes of childhood are revisited as an adult everything seems much smaller or not as clearly defined. I am in the rare position of being able to return to the house I grew up in when I visit my father. I can sleep in either my pre-teen room or the bigger room I moved to as a teenager. The décor of each amuses me and reminds me of each phase I grew through. What is funny is that the bathroom shower remains larger than in any of my apartments. Yesterday morning, I looked up and felt small.
Monday, September 7, 2009
what was that?
I have to make a better effort to write down my ideas when I think of them because I know that I had some ideas while I was running this morning in addition to scattered thoughts over the weekend. Now that I am seated and trying to gather them again however, they are reluctant to come at my beckoning. I’ve always had the problem of not remembering what I’ve come up with – quips will roll off my tongue but as soon as they are uttered they pass into the ether, never to be remembered precisely again. Need some ginko biloba.
ladies in space
For all that I love Star Trek, I have not watched much of the original series. It’s pretty campy and at times the American Way ™ themes can be a bit overpowering. This is a show that it is important to consider in the historical context – what other programming was on the air and the technology available to produce the show. I am watching the pilot episode of Star Trek and it’s a nice nod that the first officer is a woman. They were also one of the first shows to have a woman of color as a main character.
all you need is love
Amazing!S gave a talk about motivation to the half marathon clinic the other night; she spoke about her races but also what got her to those races. One of the things that she mentioned was that she surrounded herself with people who were positive and believed in her. I just spent the better part of my evening with three such women in my own life – one of whom was Amazing!S. She is indeed a sister from another mister; it’s one of those wonderful moments of synchronicity that we are friends. I thank the universe for my lovely friends and family.
Friday, September 4, 2009
queen of procrastination
I am a big procrastinator. It has to be one of my biggest faults: that I will leave off until the last minute most any project. It doesn’t matter how important or vital it is to myself, and worse, or to others. I will still sit on things until the situation reaches a critical point. This is not always the case but I do so frequently.
Take packing. I have never been packed for a trip early. I have always stayed up the night before I left doing laundry, packing and cleaning – getting a catnap if I sleep at all.
Take packing. I have never been packed for a trip early. I have always stayed up the night before I left doing laundry, packing and cleaning – getting a catnap if I sleep at all.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
tarot energy
This morning I drew the tarot card “romantic partner”; the deck description says: fairies love romance and they know the importance of feeling passion in a relationship. They remind you that romance is a state of mind and it involves playfulness and creativity.
I think it is interesting on several levels but mostly because I am, at heart, a hopeless romantic. I adore romantic comedies and one of my favorite novels is “Pride and Prejudice”. I can think of no greater thing than by word and deed making someone aware of your regard and affection. To woo and be won.
I think it is interesting on several levels but mostly because I am, at heart, a hopeless romantic. I adore romantic comedies and one of my favorite novels is “Pride and Prejudice”. I can think of no greater thing than by word and deed making someone aware of your regard and affection. To woo and be won.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
sister, sister
Amazing!T is my childhood best friend and she is getting married this weekend. I have not always been there for her and we do not communicate regularly now. Still, were she to call me up and ask me for anything I would gladly give it. She is the first sister of my soul and inexorably linked to my sense of family. She is the first person that I truly loved that was not a blood family member or one of my “aunts” and “uncles”. I hope that the man she is marrying will make her feel happy, beautiful and brilliant.
hrmm
Oh the irony of the phrase, “write off”. I am going to write off my attempts for August. Normally I would attempt to catch up on my word count but circumstances did not allow for it. Let me revise, circumstances did not make it easy for me to comply with my set goal. Which is no reason at all not to still pursue them and meet them. In fact, it is when times are busiest that it is all the more important that I set aside a moment to write. Life is busy and it’s not going to slow down.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
cats and kittens
I’ve always said that when I grow up, I will be the crazy cat lady on the hill with a purple house. Fortunately, I love cats. Unfortunately, I don’t currently live in a building that allows cats. Yet my cat collection manages to grow in the face of all obstacles. Last Christmas, my brother gave me the crazy cat lady action figure complete with six cats (and one on her shoulder). Recently, a friend brought me two stones painted and carved into cats from Paris. I think I may soon have a start on that crazy cat lady reputation. Meow.
picture this
I don’t know why I love looking at pictures so much. I think part of it is that I love looking at people’s expressions – it’s amazing how many muscles move in the face! I think part of it is also that if I look at the picture long enough the subject becomes new to me again and I notice different aspects of the picture. I get to rediscover the features of the subject and take new joy from it. I like looking at the eyes and wondering what is being thought at the moment of the photo. Capturing the moment.
tip of the tongue
I think that I picked up the habit of saying, “oh, what am I doing with my life?” from co-worker!A when I’m looking around for something. Or when I’ve lost my train of thought. Pretty much any time I’m confused and trying to sort myself out, I’ll usually mutter that phrase. It’s any interesting navel-picking thing to say when at the time, I’m only looking for a pair of socks. I always have that question in the undercurrent of my thoughts however, always lurking about and waiting for a chance to express itself as a list of goals to achieve.
guilty parties
There is a far less valid reason for why I have not written here. I consider this project in meeting word counts and posting schedule to be my personal exercise of art. It certainly is not material that will get me published or worthy of publishing but I feel that it helps me hone my craft. I have not felt comfortable participating in a personal art project when I have long neglected a writing commitment to others. How can I justify the time? I cannot and I would not attempt to do so. So what am I doing here, now?
excuses, excuses
It may appear as though I have abandoned my post and my writing this month. In some respects I haven’t, what I’ve been writing isn’t material that I would really want to post in an online setting. I think that although I am quite open to a certain degree about my thoughts and feelings in this medium – it is still available to anyone and for all time. (Unless I were to take the time to seriously erase all traces.) Some things are written for either one’s self or for one other person. That’s the writing I’ve been doing lately. Apologies.
i'm yours - revised
I took a lyrics and libretto course and because I have no scoring or musical capability I adapted the tunes of others. I would analyze the original lyrics – syllables, rhyming patterns and number of words. Then I would write my own material to suit the melody and beats of the original material. This was in essence cheating – I did not have to determine how the words fit in with the music. Nonetheless, I found the process challenging.
summer stars came out tonight, shining in my eyes
the brightest star flew and raced across the skies
its path traversing the land, seeming so close to hand
i'll paint you a picture with the loveliest of words
hoping that my mind is as agile as your hands
sweet inspiration, how you come over me
see that how that girl run, yah you fly so free
i hope you'll fly with me
run right through the door to my waiting arms
i'll keep you in my heart safe from harm
doesn't matter how far you roam, roam, roam, roam
travelling feet and open mind, so much more for you to find
the world is yours to enjoy
friend or lover, i'll always welcome you home, home, home, home, home
see how that girl run, yah you fly so free
i hope you'll fly with me
you make me feel so high, send me soaring
want you so close to me
may i serve you up some cheese
as corny as can be
so many words of praise
woo you with my turn of phrase
your laugh and your smile make everything worthwhile
filling me with so much joy i could withstand any trial
so much fun with the games we play
you can pin me, lay me down any day
take the time to map out the stars on me, the constellations
the movements of our desires, spread out for you to see
your voice in my ears, the only thing i long to hear
see that girl run, yah you fly so free
i hope you'll fly with me
run right through the door to my waiting arms
i'll keep you in my heart safe from harm
doesn't matter how far you roam, with me you'll be home
my lady fair, fair lady
you make me feel so high
send me soaring
want you, want you, want you so close
with me
summer stars came out tonight, shining in my eyes
the brightest star flew and raced across the skies
its path traversing the land, seeming so close to hand
i'll paint you a picture with the loveliest of words
hoping that my mind is as agile as your hands
sweet inspiration, how you come over me
see that how that girl run, yah you fly so free
i hope you'll fly with me
run right through the door to my waiting arms
i'll keep you in my heart safe from harm
doesn't matter how far you roam, roam, roam, roam
travelling feet and open mind, so much more for you to find
the world is yours to enjoy
friend or lover, i'll always welcome you home, home, home, home, home
see how that girl run, yah you fly so free
i hope you'll fly with me
you make me feel so high, send me soaring
want you so close to me
may i serve you up some cheese
as corny as can be
so many words of praise
woo you with my turn of phrase
your laugh and your smile make everything worthwhile
filling me with so much joy i could withstand any trial
so much fun with the games we play
you can pin me, lay me down any day
take the time to map out the stars on me, the constellations
the movements of our desires, spread out for you to see
your voice in my ears, the only thing i long to hear
see that girl run, yah you fly so free
i hope you'll fly with me
run right through the door to my waiting arms
i'll keep you in my heart safe from harm
doesn't matter how far you roam, with me you'll be home
my lady fair, fair lady
you make me feel so high
send me soaring
want you, want you, want you so close
with me
i'm yours - jason mraz
Well you done done me and you bet I felt it (11)
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted (13)
I fell right through the cracks, now I’m trying to get back (13)
Before the cool done run out I’ll be giving it my bestest (15)
And nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention (15)
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some (14)
But I won’t hesitate no more, no more, (10)
It cannot wait, I’m yours (6)
Well open up your mind and see like me (10)
Open up your plans and then you’re free (9)
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love (12)
Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing (15)
We’re just one big family (7)
And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved (15)
So I won’t hesitate no more, no more (10)
It cannot wait, I’m sure (6)
There’s no need to complicate, our time is short (11)
This is our fate, I’m yours (6)
D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do (7)
But do you want to come on (7)
Scooch on over closer dear (7)
And I will nibble your ear (7)
I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror (15)
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer (15)
But my breath fogged up the glass (7)
So I drew a new face and I laughed (9)
I guess what I be saying is there ain’t no better reason (10)
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons (15)
It’s what we aim to do, our name is our virtue (12)
But I won’t hesitate no more, no more (10)
It cannot wait, I’m yours (6)
(I won’t hesitate) (5)
Open up your mind and see like me (7)
(No more, no more) (4)
Open up your plans and man you’re free (9)
Look into your heart and you’ll find that the sky is yours (13)
(It cannot wait, I’m sure) (6)
So please don’t, please don’t, please don’t (7)
(There’s no need to complicate) (7)
There’s no need to complicate (7)
(Our time is short) (4)
‘Cause our time is short (5)
(This is our fate) (4)
This is, this is, this is our fate (8)
I’m yours (2)
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted (13)
I fell right through the cracks, now I’m trying to get back (13)
Before the cool done run out I’ll be giving it my bestest (15)
And nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention (15)
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some (14)
But I won’t hesitate no more, no more, (10)
It cannot wait, I’m yours (6)
Well open up your mind and see like me (10)
Open up your plans and then you’re free (9)
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love (12)
Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing (15)
We’re just one big family (7)
And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved (15)
So I won’t hesitate no more, no more (10)
It cannot wait, I’m sure (6)
There’s no need to complicate, our time is short (11)
This is our fate, I’m yours (6)
D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do (7)
But do you want to come on (7)
Scooch on over closer dear (7)
And I will nibble your ear (7)
I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror (15)
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer (15)
But my breath fogged up the glass (7)
So I drew a new face and I laughed (9)
I guess what I be saying is there ain’t no better reason (10)
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons (15)
It’s what we aim to do, our name is our virtue (12)
But I won’t hesitate no more, no more (10)
It cannot wait, I’m yours (6)
(I won’t hesitate) (5)
Open up your mind and see like me (7)
(No more, no more) (4)
Open up your plans and man you’re free (9)
Look into your heart and you’ll find that the sky is yours (13)
(It cannot wait, I’m sure) (6)
So please don’t, please don’t, please don’t (7)
(There’s no need to complicate) (7)
There’s no need to complicate (7)
(Our time is short) (4)
‘Cause our time is short (5)
(This is our fate) (4)
This is, this is, this is our fate (8)
I’m yours (2)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Prosaic
Facebook ads are funny things – the way they use personal profile information to target the ads and photos from various users is slightly disturbing. But it is also how I found out about the Khan Con and how I stumbled across “In Verse”; it’s an organization between poets, photographers and radio journalists. My eye was first caught by the name, I love the play on words for prose and the juxtaposition of meaning within the word itself. I am also reminded of “A Softer World”, a comic that mixes photos with free form writing that is awkward, blunt and brilliant.
des fruites
I can’t be blue, baby
Not when you’re around
The skies are blue, baby
I got no cause to frown
You’re an awfully sweet treat
Blue, baby
I could just eat you up
Blue, baby
Maybe, baby
We’ll have some strawbabies too.
I love the summertime and all the wonderful selection of fruit. Cherries and berries and melons, oh my! Amazing!P has the right family connections – cousins with a blueberry farm in Fort Langley. I have been eating my way through a 10lb flat for the last two days and it has been delightful. I may turn purple like Veronica.
Not when you’re around
The skies are blue, baby
I got no cause to frown
You’re an awfully sweet treat
Blue, baby
I could just eat you up
Blue, baby
Maybe, baby
We’ll have some strawbabies too.
I love the summertime and all the wonderful selection of fruit. Cherries and berries and melons, oh my! Amazing!P has the right family connections – cousins with a blueberry farm in Fort Langley. I have been eating my way through a 10lb flat for the last two days and it has been delightful. I may turn purple like Veronica.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Running Report
I had intended to be running at 7:30am on Sunday morning to compensate for the heat and the tight timing later that day. Mornings being what they are, I wasn’t actually running until 8:00am without sunglasses or body glide. I was frustrated but I had printed out the route earlier and I had spent time visualizing what I was going to do and how I would be feeling at the different mileage points. So I shoved aside my tense energy and focused instead on trying to find my rhythm and pace.
Amazing!S and I had talked about the run and figured on a 6min/km pace for the first half of the distance and picking up into the second half, if I could. I ran two legs of a relay, 17km, for close to 5:45min/km so I thought that I might be able to pull that out again. I didn’t have a sports watch so with my stopwatch function on my cell I did some math to check my pacing between markers on the seawall. No watch also meant no 10-1 intervals so I ran straight through until my planned gel breaks and walked then. (This is the first time I've ever run a distance longer than 10km straight through.) I was at the 8km marker just under where I should be for a 6 minute pace which was promising.
I finished my first 10km loop at 58:58 so I was maintaining just under a 6 minute pace. As I started my second loop I figured that now was when I should test out my legs. I was feeling pretty good, legs were decent and the heat wasn’t overbearing. Unfortunately I just couldn't maintain something faster consistently – I would hold it for 500 meters and then drop back to the original pace. Halfway through the second loop I ran past the half marathon 1:45 pace group; as they cruised past me, I remembered the 10km I had run with them in my last clinic. Man, did my body not like me that Sunday!
My legs were starting to feel heavy with 6km left to go and I realized I needed to take more electrolytes. I also felt like I wasn’t going to die so I wondered if I should be pushing harder but when I tried my body didn’t pay attention to the brain waves. After the 16km marker I started counting down the distance left because the seawall is damned boring and I was getting tired. For a mercy, my legs found the rhythm to finish the second 10km loop at 57:05. Left with the final kilometer to go, I split the stopwatch again and hustled over the bridge for my half loop around the lagoon.
Finishing around the lagoon was a mixed blessing because I know exactly how long it is and how far I have to go between breaks. I reminded myself that racing isn’t easy and if it was then everyone would do it. My legs weren’t having any of it so I started up with my “strong mind, strong body, strong heart” chant to keep up the pace. Senor S passed me on his add-on to the half marathon distance and I just gave a salute and kept on truckin’. I came up to the approach to Alberni and I realized that of course I had planned a finish that is slightly uphill – go figure. I pushed past the tourists and came to a gasping end at 2:02. My first thought was, hot shit! 2:02! My next thought was, shit, 2:02?! I should’ve run two minutes faster!!
Amazing!C was just finishing her run with the halfers so I walked it in with them and poured some water over my head. I was pretty well drenched with sweat but the water felt damned good. So did finishing the half under 2:10.
Amazing!S and I had talked about the run and figured on a 6min/km pace for the first half of the distance and picking up into the second half, if I could. I ran two legs of a relay, 17km, for close to 5:45min/km so I thought that I might be able to pull that out again. I didn’t have a sports watch so with my stopwatch function on my cell I did some math to check my pacing between markers on the seawall. No watch also meant no 10-1 intervals so I ran straight through until my planned gel breaks and walked then. (This is the first time I've ever run a distance longer than 10km straight through.) I was at the 8km marker just under where I should be for a 6 minute pace which was promising.
I finished my first 10km loop at 58:58 so I was maintaining just under a 6 minute pace. As I started my second loop I figured that now was when I should test out my legs. I was feeling pretty good, legs were decent and the heat wasn’t overbearing. Unfortunately I just couldn't maintain something faster consistently – I would hold it for 500 meters and then drop back to the original pace. Halfway through the second loop I ran past the half marathon 1:45 pace group; as they cruised past me, I remembered the 10km I had run with them in my last clinic. Man, did my body not like me that Sunday!
My legs were starting to feel heavy with 6km left to go and I realized I needed to take more electrolytes. I also felt like I wasn’t going to die so I wondered if I should be pushing harder but when I tried my body didn’t pay attention to the brain waves. After the 16km marker I started counting down the distance left because the seawall is damned boring and I was getting tired. For a mercy, my legs found the rhythm to finish the second 10km loop at 57:05. Left with the final kilometer to go, I split the stopwatch again and hustled over the bridge for my half loop around the lagoon.
Finishing around the lagoon was a mixed blessing because I know exactly how long it is and how far I have to go between breaks. I reminded myself that racing isn’t easy and if it was then everyone would do it. My legs weren’t having any of it so I started up with my “strong mind, strong body, strong heart” chant to keep up the pace. Senor S passed me on his add-on to the half marathon distance and I just gave a salute and kept on truckin’. I came up to the approach to Alberni and I realized that of course I had planned a finish that is slightly uphill – go figure. I pushed past the tourists and came to a gasping end at 2:02. My first thought was, hot shit! 2:02! My next thought was, shit, 2:02?! I should’ve run two minutes faster!!
Amazing!C was just finishing her run with the halfers so I walked it in with them and poured some water over my head. I was pretty well drenched with sweat but the water felt damned good. So did finishing the half under 2:10.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Eek!
I have to represent a case in court next week and although I have been nervous, it has been more centered on how I will appear in court and whether I will be taken seriously. Essentially, I’m not sure if my outfit is good enough for the first day of school. Well, today we just received our settlement conference brief and now I realize that before I wasn’t nervous. That was butterflies. Now, I am nervous. They’ve got a lot of documentation and I have to appear before court officials and express myself in a clear, intelligent and thoughtful manner. I am not the Girl Friday for this job.
Glam Rock
This weekend is Pride and although I don’t normally go out much during the event, this year I saw an opportunity I could not pass up. I found myself with a twenty dollar credit at London Drugs and as I was muttering to myself because I do not often shop there I saw a sign, “Glitter Me Up Makeover”. I found out that the cosmetics counter was doing makeup from party-lite to go-go dancer for Pride. For the same amount as my store credit. Done and done. With all that glittery goodness I am going out dancing at Hershe Bar!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Bar raised to the clouds
The problem with putting thoughts into words is that then I feel the urge to follow up on them. I’ve been wanting to run a half marathon to put fact to the feeling that I could run a 2:15 pace. I have to run a little more than that this weekend for training, so I’ve decided to make this Sunday my own personal best run. Speaking with amazing!S always makes me feel a little less insane. Especially when she says the words, sub 2:10 – which have been lurking in my mind anyway. Sneaky little whispers, I wanna hear you shout!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Sometimes kitschy platitudes are correct, who knew. I’ve found the universe unfolding in such a way that the people I need are here this summer. The cast is comprised of all three of the categories above and I think that gives this season a sort of balance that might otherwise be lacking.
When I was younger, I met someone through a mutual friend. We began to hang out and our mutual friend took me aside one day and warned me that while she was nice, she could be fickle. They used to hang out all the time and then all of a sudden, they stopped and they hardly spoke. My friend was confused because she had no idea what she had done to the other girl to upset her.
I still hung out with the other girl and we had fun and I went off to university. We met up once when I came home for the summer months but I haven’t spoken with her since nor do I know where she is. Our mutual friend is living in the mid-West and is now married; we maintained a sporadic communication throughout university.
I know that I can be much the same as the girl my friend warned me about – I can be close friends with someone and then for no good reason, I’ll lose touch. I’ll screw-up and double book myself or flake out so much that the person doesn’t even want to talk to me any longer. It makes me wonder if I set myself up to be a seasonal friend – if I’m not giving enough into the friendship and taking too much. I can be manipulative and through not wanting to pick a side I can be a bit two-faced. I love and respect my friends that no matter what, you know where you stand with them.
I would like to be more assertive in that fashion. Owning my weaknesses but also my strengths – my loyalty to my friends, my drive to make their lives have some silliness and laughter. I was born in the year of the Dog and I yearn to please; this is my strength and my weakness. But I would hope that I am a good friend to those who would honor me with that title.
When I was younger, I met someone through a mutual friend. We began to hang out and our mutual friend took me aside one day and warned me that while she was nice, she could be fickle. They used to hang out all the time and then all of a sudden, they stopped and they hardly spoke. My friend was confused because she had no idea what she had done to the other girl to upset her.
I still hung out with the other girl and we had fun and I went off to university. We met up once when I came home for the summer months but I haven’t spoken with her since nor do I know where she is. Our mutual friend is living in the mid-West and is now married; we maintained a sporadic communication throughout university.
I know that I can be much the same as the girl my friend warned me about – I can be close friends with someone and then for no good reason, I’ll lose touch. I’ll screw-up and double book myself or flake out so much that the person doesn’t even want to talk to me any longer. It makes me wonder if I set myself up to be a seasonal friend – if I’m not giving enough into the friendship and taking too much. I can be manipulative and through not wanting to pick a side I can be a bit two-faced. I love and respect my friends that no matter what, you know where you stand with them.
I would like to be more assertive in that fashion. Owning my weaknesses but also my strengths – my loyalty to my friends, my drive to make their lives have some silliness and laughter. I was born in the year of the Dog and I yearn to please; this is my strength and my weakness. But I would hope that I am a good friend to those who would honor me with that title.
Progress Chart
In order to run a two hour half marathon, I would have to shave another twenty seconds off of my fastest recorded pace and maintain it for 21.1 kilometers. Please note that although I have yet to break under a 2:20 half marathon I have decided to by-pass the 2:15 pace and shoot for the moon. The fact is that I am fairly confident that if I keep with the full marathon training, then I could run a 2:15 half marathon now. I made the above table to remind myself that I am getting faster. That I can be fast.
Monday, July 27, 2009
A long ramble
This weekend, because my internet was disinclined to function, I could not figure out a bus timetable so I ran to the beach to meet some friends. (When planning the morning, awesome!L commented that the only people she knew that considered running as a form of transportation were people who had been running a long time. In my books, three years does not equal a long time running.) Then I ran from the beach to where I was meeting other people to play soccer. Afterwards I got a ride halfway home and ran/walked the rest of the way. My thought process? “Do I really want to wait for bus to get across the bridge when I could get there just as fast by foot?” And then as my bus came up at my transfer point, “Do I really want to waste a bus ticket on seven blocks?”
All told I ran and walked about 9km, in addition to playing soccer for about an hour and a half. It was a smoking hot morning and I’d completed pretty well a full circle across two bridges and parts of Kitsilano and the West End. It really just boggles the mind how much a person’s attitude can change in such a relatively short period of time. After I had some lunch, I went down to English Bay where people were already flocking in preparation for the second night of “Celebration of Lights” firework festival. I settled myself down, slathered on a ton of sunblock and slept for two hours.
I really do love Vancouver and the fact that there is so much to do here. It doesn’t hurt that it is easy on the eyes as well. It has its problems, a city of this size and surrounding environs will have problems because last I’d checked we haven’t perfected societal responsibility or solved the great injustices of the world. But for all that, I can’t imagine myself living in California or in Nevada. I can’t see myself achieving the sort of personal goals that I have here in either of those places.
A lot of that has to do with the wonderful people that I am lucky enough to have in my life. It has taken a lot of poking and prodding and dares to get me to the point where I am today. A lot of that is attributable to this fine lady here, and the story she relates here is hilarious because it’s the god’s honest truth. Amazing!S is one of those people who inspires others not just with her encouragement and belief in them, but also because she goes out and puts her money where her mouth is. She may push and challenge others to be better than they think they can be – but it’s a drop in the pan compared to what she expects of herself. I think you’d have to be dead to not respond to that kind of energy. Actually, that might account for the recent zombie problem Burnaby has been having….
There are also just the wonderful people that I met and enjoy being around – enjoy so much that I will train for a marathon just to eat breakfast with them. Yesterday I went out into ridiculous heat and humidity to run around the forest for an additional hour and a half, sweating straight through every article of clothing, just to meetup with these people. That doesn’t make sense!! I could just get up and come meet them at the restaurant! But it just wouldn’t be the same as comparing runs and shooting the shit as my legs stick to the vinyl of the booth seat from sweat. I wouldn’t have earned my eggs and ham.
By some sweet serendipity, my soccer team is also full of interesting, vivacious and keen women. Last year, at the end of a twelve hour session of drinking as we were moving into the tequila shots the topic of a team for the beach soccer tournament came up. Most of the ladies present at the session had participated the previous year but I had not as playing soccer on sand is exceedingly difficult. No, really. It’s exhausting. However, given a few rounds of tequila, I cried, “How bad could it be?! Sign me up – I’ll play this year!” It was hard and we did lose but it was also a riot and this year’s team was born – Team Awesome! So yesterday, after cleaning my apartment, I went out again into the sun to practice our beach soccer technique. Which for me consisted of a lot of flailing about and falling in the sand. Pretty much my same level of ability as last year. The good spirits of everyone involved and the plans to get to the beach early to stake out a tent area and setup our BBQ make all the effort worthwhile. It’s going to be two days of a bunch of people getting sweaty, sandy, drinking beers and eating grilled food. I don’t know any better way to sum up my summer.
My life isn’t perfect; I still don’t know what I want to do with my career and I’m sometimes overwhelmed at the financial prospects of a future in a world with an economy that’s chasing my bank account down the drain. I at least have the good fortune to have wonderful companions with me on this journey and truly, that is the wealth that is priceless.
All told I ran and walked about 9km, in addition to playing soccer for about an hour and a half. It was a smoking hot morning and I’d completed pretty well a full circle across two bridges and parts of Kitsilano and the West End. It really just boggles the mind how much a person’s attitude can change in such a relatively short period of time. After I had some lunch, I went down to English Bay where people were already flocking in preparation for the second night of “Celebration of Lights” firework festival. I settled myself down, slathered on a ton of sunblock and slept for two hours.
I really do love Vancouver and the fact that there is so much to do here. It doesn’t hurt that it is easy on the eyes as well. It has its problems, a city of this size and surrounding environs will have problems because last I’d checked we haven’t perfected societal responsibility or solved the great injustices of the world. But for all that, I can’t imagine myself living in California or in Nevada. I can’t see myself achieving the sort of personal goals that I have here in either of those places.
A lot of that has to do with the wonderful people that I am lucky enough to have in my life. It has taken a lot of poking and prodding and dares to get me to the point where I am today. A lot of that is attributable to this fine lady here, and the story she relates here is hilarious because it’s the god’s honest truth. Amazing!S is one of those people who inspires others not just with her encouragement and belief in them, but also because she goes out and puts her money where her mouth is. She may push and challenge others to be better than they think they can be – but it’s a drop in the pan compared to what she expects of herself. I think you’d have to be dead to not respond to that kind of energy. Actually, that might account for the recent zombie problem Burnaby has been having….
There are also just the wonderful people that I met and enjoy being around – enjoy so much that I will train for a marathon just to eat breakfast with them. Yesterday I went out into ridiculous heat and humidity to run around the forest for an additional hour and a half, sweating straight through every article of clothing, just to meetup with these people. That doesn’t make sense!! I could just get up and come meet them at the restaurant! But it just wouldn’t be the same as comparing runs and shooting the shit as my legs stick to the vinyl of the booth seat from sweat. I wouldn’t have earned my eggs and ham.
By some sweet serendipity, my soccer team is also full of interesting, vivacious and keen women. Last year, at the end of a twelve hour session of drinking as we were moving into the tequila shots the topic of a team for the beach soccer tournament came up. Most of the ladies present at the session had participated the previous year but I had not as playing soccer on sand is exceedingly difficult. No, really. It’s exhausting. However, given a few rounds of tequila, I cried, “How bad could it be?! Sign me up – I’ll play this year!” It was hard and we did lose but it was also a riot and this year’s team was born – Team Awesome! So yesterday, after cleaning my apartment, I went out again into the sun to practice our beach soccer technique. Which for me consisted of a lot of flailing about and falling in the sand. Pretty much my same level of ability as last year. The good spirits of everyone involved and the plans to get to the beach early to stake out a tent area and setup our BBQ make all the effort worthwhile. It’s going to be two days of a bunch of people getting sweaty, sandy, drinking beers and eating grilled food. I don’t know any better way to sum up my summer.
My life isn’t perfect; I still don’t know what I want to do with my career and I’m sometimes overwhelmed at the financial prospects of a future in a world with an economy that’s chasing my bank account down the drain. I at least have the good fortune to have wonderful companions with me on this journey and truly, that is the wealth that is priceless.
Weighing In
I weighed myself the last two times I was at the gym and I was at 179.8 and 180.5 – the variation which I expect can be attributed by sweat loss. Especially given how hot it has been and how much I sweat when I workout in any event. I’m happy though because I really want to leave the 18X mark behind me. I’ve spent a lot of years in that zone and I know that I can fight my way into the 17X territory. My eating has been fairly healthy, I let myself have treats and alcohol – everything in moderation.
Fitness World
My attempt last Thursday to go to the gym resulted in a long nap on the couch followed by some pizza since what I had pulled out from the freezer hadn’t defrosted yet. Consequently, I felt I had better make an effort on Friday to do my workout. Of course, I got out of the office late and I had to be at a friend’s later that evening. Beyond all that was the fact that I couldn’t remember some of the exercises – my greatest failings with gyms. I always forget the exercises or the positions and I just feel overwhelmed.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
She's Baked
Although I love to bake, there is one recipe that eludes me with coy surety – chocolate chip cookies. I can make flans, cheesecakes, you name it – but to make a chocolate chip cookie that rises and is chewy? That I cannot do. I recently made a batch of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies which had some elements that I look for in a cookie. And yet, it was not the classic cookie that is so well known throughout North America. Around 1998 I had one batch turn out perfectly; if only I had saved that recipe and noted the planetary alignments!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Bright and shiny
I have always adored fireworks and I remember the first year I attended Vancouver’s “Celebration of Lights” I went alone amidst the masses and loved it. I have never heard of fireworks being coordinated with music and although the barges are coordinated with machines, someone designed the chemical perfection to make the sky sparkle and shine. The thing I like most about fireworks is the fact that they take explosives, mostly used to the detriment of other people, and they are made beautiful. It’s frivolous and silly but it transforms a force for destruction into art. What a stunning metamorphosis.
Hair of the dog
Summertime is not a good time for my skin; I regularly shave three quarters of my body. If I had my druthers, and the cash, it’d be more than that including waxing and shaving. I think it was eighth grade when I fully realized my dislike of body hair. I remember being in class and another student pointing out that I had long hairs coming out of a mole on my arm and laughing. I think I shaved that patch the next day. Possibly that night. (Nota bene: this applies to just my body hair, I don’t really care about the state anyone else’s.) I didn’t actually start shaving my arms entirely until university but prior to that I would do some arm grooming.
The problem is that my skin really dislikes shaving or any process of hair removal. Painfully dislikes. Makes my life a living hell and my appearance a white palette and red polka-dotted caricature.
My solution was to not shave often during the fall and winter seasons and clear cut for special occasions. I subscribed to American, I mean here US American, society’s normative that women should be smooth, slim and otherwise primped and plucked. Combined with my own dislike of body hair, I often felt very sensitive about how hairy I perceived myself to be and the moreso when out in public.
Three and a half years ago, I decided to change my life. I decided to get fit and break out of the inward tendencies that had me eating a great deal and sitting in front of a computer for most hours of the day and night. Initially this meant going down to the Kits outdoor pool a few blocks away and chock full of beautiful people. Shaving and then going swimming was a guaranteed disaster for my skin. So I would go down to the pool and swim in my board shorts and one piece, conscious of my hairy legs the whole time. A few months after starting swimming, I started to run. This too was hard for me because when I exercise I sweat, a lot. In both of these attempts to master my body again I was forced to accept the fact that I was not going to look graceful or attractive. And it began to irritate me that anyone would expect a person to look perfectly coiffed while exercising. It just isn’t realistic.
So I went out running in shorts when I hadn’t shaved my legs. I wore headbands that made my hair stick up in odd ways to keep the sweat out of my eyes.
I put on spandex.
Because the fact of the matter is that anyone who is serious about exercising isn’t out to look at the other people that are exercising or worry about how they look while they’re doing their thing. If you’re out for your run, your bike ride, rollerblading or swim – all you’re focusing on is your workout. Who cares if someone out on their run, bike ride, blading or swimming is a hairy, sweaty mess? Good on them, at least they’re out and about doing something.
I started exercising to become more fit but it also allowed me to become more comfortable with my body as it was, and is and will be. I still have a lot of hangups, nineteen years of thinking about your weight will do that (When I was eight, I lay in bed one night utterly convinced that my stomach was “stuck” in and I couldn’t get it to relax. I lay there trying to stick my belly back out but couldn’t get beyond the fact that it wouldn’t budge because I had been holding it in all day long.), but at least I’m able to remind myself of my achievements.
The problem is that my skin really dislikes shaving or any process of hair removal. Painfully dislikes. Makes my life a living hell and my appearance a white palette and red polka-dotted caricature.
My solution was to not shave often during the fall and winter seasons and clear cut for special occasions. I subscribed to American, I mean here US American, society’s normative that women should be smooth, slim and otherwise primped and plucked. Combined with my own dislike of body hair, I often felt very sensitive about how hairy I perceived myself to be and the moreso when out in public.
Three and a half years ago, I decided to change my life. I decided to get fit and break out of the inward tendencies that had me eating a great deal and sitting in front of a computer for most hours of the day and night. Initially this meant going down to the Kits outdoor pool a few blocks away and chock full of beautiful people. Shaving and then going swimming was a guaranteed disaster for my skin. So I would go down to the pool and swim in my board shorts and one piece, conscious of my hairy legs the whole time. A few months after starting swimming, I started to run. This too was hard for me because when I exercise I sweat, a lot. In both of these attempts to master my body again I was forced to accept the fact that I was not going to look graceful or attractive. And it began to irritate me that anyone would expect a person to look perfectly coiffed while exercising. It just isn’t realistic.
So I went out running in shorts when I hadn’t shaved my legs. I wore headbands that made my hair stick up in odd ways to keep the sweat out of my eyes.
I put on spandex.
Because the fact of the matter is that anyone who is serious about exercising isn’t out to look at the other people that are exercising or worry about how they look while they’re doing their thing. If you’re out for your run, your bike ride, rollerblading or swim – all you’re focusing on is your workout. Who cares if someone out on their run, bike ride, blading or swimming is a hairy, sweaty mess? Good on them, at least they’re out and about doing something.
I started exercising to become more fit but it also allowed me to become more comfortable with my body as it was, and is and will be. I still have a lot of hangups, nineteen years of thinking about your weight will do that (When I was eight, I lay in bed one night utterly convinced that my stomach was “stuck” in and I couldn’t get it to relax. I lay there trying to stick my belly back out but couldn’t get beyond the fact that it wouldn’t budge because I had been holding it in all day long.), but at least I’m able to remind myself of my achievements.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Not to split hairs...
I’ve reached the stage in growing out my hair where I just want to chop it all off. It has been over four months since my last haircut and once again I am at the unmanageable stage during the heat of summer. I always forget to grow my hair in winter and cut it in summer; you know, in a sensible relation to the weather. At this point, I think that I should enter as a Xena lookalike rather than Gabrielle and that would necessitate a wig in any event. All well and good, but what about a new hairstyle?
Haste makes for awkward table conversation...
Recently at soccer practice one of the girls got a concussion from blocking a ball. The girl who kicked the ball drover her to the hospital to get examined for the ringing in her ears and her boyfriend picked her up. This meant that her car would be stuck at our practice field which, while not in the worst part of town, is still not the most ideal place to leave a car overnight. As I know how to drive standard I offered to drive the car back to her apartment for her that evening. I got a ride to meet my friend and her boyfriend because, as I said, I have a history of getting into the wrong car and she drives a popular model. While there is practically no chance of her alarm keys working on another vehicle I’d hate to press my odds. She came with me in her car and her boyfriend shadowed us in his car.
The next day, I was meeting soccer!S to attend bootcamp at Kitsilano Beach. Soccer!S had arranged for a co-op car for the evening and we agreed to meet at the parking location where we often met when she arranged for a co-op car. I was running fairly close to on time, or so I thought until I saw two people sitting in the co-op car with the engine idling. I broke into a jog for the last block to the vehicle considering the filled passenger seat and assuming that soccer!S’ husband would be joining us that night unexpectedly. I ran up to the back passenger door and, with my hand lifting the door handle, realized that the man sitting in the front seat had no hair. Soccer!S’ husband has thick, shoulder length curly hair. Less than twenty-four hours after referencing my troubles with cars, I had bewildered and no doubt scared another innocent driver.
I scurried to the far corner of the parking lot and called awesome!S to let her know that my carjacking instinct had struck again before calling soccer!S to make sure I was in the right place. She laughed and reminded me that there were TWO co-op vehicles in that parking lot. With chagrin, I went to await soccer!S next to the other vehicle.
The next day, I was meeting soccer!S to attend bootcamp at Kitsilano Beach. Soccer!S had arranged for a co-op car for the evening and we agreed to meet at the parking location where we often met when she arranged for a co-op car. I was running fairly close to on time, or so I thought until I saw two people sitting in the co-op car with the engine idling. I broke into a jog for the last block to the vehicle considering the filled passenger seat and assuming that soccer!S’ husband would be joining us that night unexpectedly. I ran up to the back passenger door and, with my hand lifting the door handle, realized that the man sitting in the front seat had no hair. Soccer!S’ husband has thick, shoulder length curly hair. Less than twenty-four hours after referencing my troubles with cars, I had bewildered and no doubt scared another innocent driver.
I scurried to the far corner of the parking lot and called awesome!S to let her know that my carjacking instinct had struck again before calling soccer!S to make sure I was in the right place. She laughed and reminded me that there were TWO co-op vehicles in that parking lot. With chagrin, I went to await soccer!S next to the other vehicle.
Monday, July 20, 2009
vieux et jeune
Similarly, I have an issue with age – in the sense that being the youngest in my group of friends I want to act in a mature fashion. I want to bypass the foolish tendencies of youth, the awkwardness of learning and be granted some measure of wisdom without the pain of experience. This can’t be so I spend a lot of time decrying my youth, which only makes me appear younger. I desire the respect of the people I call my friends and worry that at times my nature will cause me to do foolish things and lose that respect.
Foibles
In high school, bisexuality was the cool thing to be – when girls would get drunk, make out with other girls and then disclaim it all the morning after. I don’t want to be associated with that image and what I feel to be the implicit question of whether as a bisexual woman I will be taken seriously in my interest for other women. Yet when I am drunk, I will dance in a very explicit way with friends and otherwise act like the stereotype I so dislike. I’m the girl that I don’t approve of. My insecurities tear at me.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Touched by words
I love Ani Difranco; she is a wordsmith and her lyrics never fail to captivate me. I particularly love this line however, “I roll over and taste the pillow with my grin”.
I love it because I can envision it – I can see me, I can see the whole chain of events that culminated in that action. I can feel the giddiness bubbling in my chest and the breathy laughter that would escape past my teeth. I can feel the intoxication of being with someone and the sensation of their touch on me still trembling down my nerves. Such feelings.
I love it because I can envision it – I can see me, I can see the whole chain of events that culminated in that action. I can feel the giddiness bubbling in my chest and the breathy laughter that would escape past my teeth. I can feel the intoxication of being with someone and the sensation of their touch on me still trembling down my nerves. Such feelings.
Running amok
I bought a new pair of runners at the Denman Running Room after I ruined my last pair dancing in the ocean while drunk.
I chose the store closest to my office which also happened to be closest to Stanley Park. From Learn to Run, to the 5km to the Half Marathon, I found myself spending more and more time at the DRR and with these crazy runners. These crazy runners who are kind, fun and driven to challenge themselves further. These crazy runners who have become my dearest friends and compatriots on adventures I never envisioned. I am blessed.
I chose the store closest to my office which also happened to be closest to Stanley Park. From Learn to Run, to the 5km to the Half Marathon, I found myself spending more and more time at the DRR and with these crazy runners. These crazy runners who are kind, fun and driven to challenge themselves further. These crazy runners who have become my dearest friends and compatriots on adventures I never envisioned. I am blessed.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
shy
shy - ani difranco - not a pretty girl
the heat is so great
it plays tricks with the eye
turns the road into water
then from water to sky
there's a crack in the concrete floor
that starts at the sink
there's a bathroom in a gas station
and i've locked myself in it to think
back in the city
the sun bakes the trash on the curb
the men are pissing in doorways
and the rats are running in herds
i got a dream with your face in it
that scares me awake
i put too much on the table
now i got too much at stake
i might let you off easy
i might lead you on
i might wait for you to look for me
and then i might be gone
there's where i come from and
where i'm going
and i am lost in between
i might go out to that phone booth
and leave a veiled invitation
on your machine
you'll stop me won't you
if you've heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying let's not ask what next
or how or why
i am leaving in the morning
so let's not be shy
the door opens
the room winces
the housekeeper comes in
without a warning
i squint at the muscular motel light
and say, hey, good morning
as she jumps her keys jingle
and she leaves as quickly
as she came in
i roll over and taste the pillow with my grin
the sheets are twisted and damp
the heat is so great
and i swear i can feel the mattress
sinking underneath your weight
sleep is like a fever
and i'm glad when it ends
the road flows like a river
it pulls me around every bend
stop me won't you
if you've heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying let's not ask what's next
or how or why
i'm leaving in the morning
let's not be shy
the heat is so great
it plays tricks with the eye
turns the road into water
then from water to sky
there's a crack in the concrete floor
that starts at the sink
there's a bathroom in a gas station
and i've locked myself in it to think
back in the city
the sun bakes the trash on the curb
the men are pissing in doorways
and the rats are running in herds
i got a dream with your face in it
that scares me awake
i put too much on the table
now i got too much at stake
i might let you off easy
i might lead you on
i might wait for you to look for me
and then i might be gone
there's where i come from and
where i'm going
and i am lost in between
i might go out to that phone booth
and leave a veiled invitation
on your machine
you'll stop me won't you
if you've heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying let's not ask what next
or how or why
i am leaving in the morning
so let's not be shy
the door opens
the room winces
the housekeeper comes in
without a warning
i squint at the muscular motel light
and say, hey, good morning
as she jumps her keys jingle
and she leaves as quickly
as she came in
i roll over and taste the pillow with my grin
the sheets are twisted and damp
the heat is so great
and i swear i can feel the mattress
sinking underneath your weight
sleep is like a fever
and i'm glad when it ends
the road flows like a river
it pulls me around every bend
stop me won't you
if you've heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying let's not ask what's next
or how or why
i'm leaving in the morning
let's not be shy
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Worthy
worthy - ani difranco - not a pretty girl
you think you're not worthy
i'd have to say i agree
i'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
which of us is deserving
i mean, look at the human race
the whole planet at arm's length
and we don't deserve this place
what good is a poker face
when you've got an open hand
i was supposed to be cool about this
i remember cool was the plan
tried to keep it all under wraps
but the wraps kept going slack
i keep turning around
i keep coming back
give me your vertical
your horizontal lines
i want to take each of them
bend them to fit mine
the world is too good for me
i am such a naughty girl
but when we're together
we're too good for this world
you think you're not worthy
i'd have to say i agree
i'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
you think you're not worthy
i'd have to say i agree
i'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
which of us is deserving
i mean, look at the human race
the whole planet at arm's length
and we don't deserve this place
what good is a poker face
when you've got an open hand
i was supposed to be cool about this
i remember cool was the plan
tried to keep it all under wraps
but the wraps kept going slack
i keep turning around
i keep coming back
give me your vertical
your horizontal lines
i want to take each of them
bend them to fit mine
the world is too good for me
i am such a naughty girl
but when we're together
we're too good for this world
you think you're not worthy
i'd have to say i agree
i'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
Origins
I was guilted into running and joining the Running Room. One summer, three years ago, I would walk home from work via English Bay, cross Burrard Street bridge and walk past Kits beach to my apartment. All along the seawall there were hordes of people running as I walked. It seemed to me an epidemic. I was surrounded by people being fit. I started to feel that my walks were not enough – I decided to join a soccer team. For that I needed to run and so I found myself at the Running Room; a choice that changed my life.
Soccer girls
Sunday morning came very quickly when I went to bed at 3:30am and woke up at 8am to join my friends for a run. I cut the distance short at 10km so that I would be able to meet my ride to go to my soccer team’s season end game and BBQ. One of the best things I have done in my time in Vancouver was to join my soccer team. It is made up of some of the most wonderful, beautiful and caring women that I have the pleasure of calling my friends. Every day I’m thankful for them.
Weekend report
This summer is being extraordinarily kind to me with fabulous weather, lots of gatherings and plenty of visits with friends. I am very busy as a result but I have been having so much fun. I played soccer on Saturday morning in the scorching heat with some girls from my team – punctuated by breaks when we discussed what to wear to that evening’s party. Afterwards I went out for sushi for lunch, chatted with my mom and then I got a pedicure. All gussied up, I went to my friend’s party where I danced my feet off all night long.
Back in the saddle
I finally made it back to the gym last night after a couple of week’s hiatus. This time I was still running and participating in a bootcamp so I wasn’t in as much pain as has happened before. My home scale had reported that I weighed around 180 last week and the epic scale at the gym roughly agreed: 182.9 lbs. I’m now back at the same point as I was at the end of May but I had to lose seven pounds to get here. It’s a constant juggling act but I think that my eating is getting better.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Who Dunnit
I could prevent the stars from going out tonight but it would not bring back the light in your eyes. I could encompass the spirit of the sun and still you would not burn for me. I could repair time and space but lose you on a sandy shoal.
Fair of face
And full of grace
I must profess.
In this state of undress,
Lithe and lean,
Recumbent pose for this scene
I bow my head, could do no less.
Arched shoulder lifts a wing --
Trailing touches like feathers --
Bound as though tethered
Sweet words that make my ears ring.
Fair of face
And full of grace
I must profess.
In this state of undress,
Lithe and lean,
Recumbent pose for this scene
I bow my head, could do no less.
Arched shoulder lifts a wing --
Trailing touches like feathers --
Bound as though tethered
Sweet words that make my ears ring.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
When the sun shines, we'll shine together
When I was little, my uncle C would always sing "You are my sunshine” to me. He’d say that I was his sunshine and in the way of an obstinate child I would say, no, no I’m not. You said I’m a p.i.t.a.! (Pain in the ass.) Uncle C would always spoil my brother and me with toys and junk food gift bags whenever we saw him. My aunt K and uncle B would spoil us as well, but with trips on sailboats, bike rides on Angel Island and hikes through the Marin foothills. I was so lucky growing up.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Third time is the charm
Three is a very powerful number. Good and bad things happen in three, if there are more three items on my shopping list I have to write them down or else I’ll forget something, Lloyd Alexander wrote “The Book of Three”. More tangentially, I can forget that I have to pee three times. Fortunately for me, my bladder is already warping space and time in its capacity so the ability to “forget” a few times means that on long runs or in suspect places, I am safe. After the third time though, I’ll be making a bee-line for the bathroom!
Soundtrack
I’m not going to lie, my theme music for this summer seems to be Lady GaGa. (I’ve had a little bit too much…just dance.) It’s fun, bouncy and trashy – which seems to work well for me. Most of the time I focus on not acting my age; I am determined to represent myself as mature and responsible. I’m 26. (Get your ass in my bed.) This need to act properly is counter-balanced with my drive to be a smartass and entertain people, with the by-product that people pay attention to me. It’s summertime, I might as well have some fun.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Script
I will write out my name over and over until the word and the letters lose meaning and become merely an assortment of symbols. Writing is a convention that has attributed meaning to symbols as they represent spoken communication. Considering my studies and my love of the written word, it is an interesting act to strip away the overtones that “Kirsten” possesses for me. There are of course other women that define “Kirsten” but in the purely egotistical sense, I strip away the sense that the curve of my script and the linked letters form my identity. I strip myself.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Patterns
Working in an office building and drinking as much water as I try to do during the day, I wear two treads in the carpet – one to the water cooler and one to the bathroom.
There are three stalls in the ladies bathroom on my floor; the separators are marble (or the very finest faux-marble) and when I’m wearing heels and standing up I can see over the top of the dividers. Personal preferences aside, the most popular stall is the far right, adjacent to the mirrors, and though the far left will make-do – the center stall is always empty.
There are three stalls in the ladies bathroom on my floor; the separators are marble (or the very finest faux-marble) and when I’m wearing heels and standing up I can see over the top of the dividers. Personal preferences aside, the most popular stall is the far right, adjacent to the mirrors, and though the far left will make-do – the center stall is always empty.
Red car, blue car
The second instance of my fascination with strangers’ cars occurred a few short months after the first. The joke of it still ruminated amongst my friends and I did not expect to live the story down any time soon. My second year participating in the Haney to Harrison relay with the same crew of people, I suppose with the antics of the weekend I could take the fifth, were we in the United States, for the way events unfolded. H2H is a 100 kilometer relay that begins at 6 AM which means that you are awake before 5 AM and running until the late afternoon. The race is split into two segments with a team car for each segment. Following the completion of the race, everyone goes to the hotel to shower, have a few snorts and then go to dinner…and keep drinking there. So you have a town full of sleep deprived and dehydrated runners that are now all rehydrating with alcohol.
And then those runners get driven to a town hall in the middle of nowhere where a beer garden takes place. The evening unfolds in a predictable manner from that point onward. Last year, as people were slowly dragging themselves out of bed to check out and get some breakfast, I had packed up my things and decided to take them out to amazing!T’s car for the ride home. Just to make life easier you understand. I went out to the parking lot which is full of little sport utility type cars and approach where I thought we had parked the night before. Amazing!S and amazing!T are at the window of one of the hotel rooms and pointing to the car as I had wandered a little aimlessly to begin with. (Their conversation at the time: “Should we tell her she’s going to the wrong car?” “Nah, she’ll figure it out – it won’t open.” “Oh wait, no, she’s going to put her stuff in.” “Should we tell her to stop?”)
I opened the trunk of the car and threw a bag in. I reached for my other bag and as I turned, my mind dully registered that the items in the trunk did not look familiar to me as those from the previous day. Looking at the car again, I saw that it was not amazing!T’s car at all. Feeling the blush rising on my cheeks, I grab my bag and shut the car again. Amazing!T and amazing!S are now in the doorway laughing their asses off and pointing to where the car actually is.
The real problem? I still don’t remember exactly what amazing!T’s car looks like….
And then those runners get driven to a town hall in the middle of nowhere where a beer garden takes place. The evening unfolds in a predictable manner from that point onward. Last year, as people were slowly dragging themselves out of bed to check out and get some breakfast, I had packed up my things and decided to take them out to amazing!T’s car for the ride home. Just to make life easier you understand. I went out to the parking lot which is full of little sport utility type cars and approach where I thought we had parked the night before. Amazing!S and amazing!T are at the window of one of the hotel rooms and pointing to the car as I had wandered a little aimlessly to begin with. (Their conversation at the time: “Should we tell her she’s going to the wrong car?” “Nah, she’ll figure it out – it won’t open.” “Oh wait, no, she’s going to put her stuff in.” “Should we tell her to stop?”)
I opened the trunk of the car and threw a bag in. I reached for my other bag and as I turned, my mind dully registered that the items in the trunk did not look familiar to me as those from the previous day. Looking at the car again, I saw that it was not amazing!T’s car at all. Feeling the blush rising on my cheeks, I grab my bag and shut the car again. Amazing!T and amazing!S are now in the doorway laughing their asses off and pointing to where the car actually is.
The real problem? I still don’t remember exactly what amazing!T’s car looks like….
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