My office washrooms have always been a point of contention. There is a guessed at seat tinkler and one time I fear that someone may have experienced one of those dangerously long periods. Yet these aren't public bathrooms in the sense that multitudes of people are using them each day, perhaps with children in tow. So it is therefore all the more perplexing when a shitsplosion occurs. We're all adults here. Now, I have - recently! - been at the not so tender mercy of my bowels due to a packaged salad. I set an out-of-office alert, called a cab, crossed my legs and HOPED everything would be okay until I got home. I was lucky and was subject to the hellish whims of bacteria from the comfort of my own bathroom.
I understand that not everyone may be able to have that kind of time. Perhaps you're just trying to make a dash to the washroom and hoping it all works out. But my friends, would you not heed the warning rumbles of your tumbly all the more when you are using a shared washroom? A shared washroom that first you must exit your office to access? Because the only thing that makes sense of the FIRST shitsplosion I saw in our office washrooms was that someone dallied too long. They finished writing that email. Sipped those last dregs of coffee. Fake laughed at a colleague's joke too long in the hallway. How else can you explain diarrhoea dregs on the back wall of the toilet stall??
Or who in their right minds would attempt a hover squat with the dark waters flowing from you!??! And granted that perhaps the person misread their body's cues the first time around...would they not be leery of something the SECOND time around? Yes, that's right -- not one, but two stalls were defiled! The second time the person responsible didn't even attempt to tidy the toilet seat. And the poor cleaners! They thought the worst they'd face was perhaps an overflowing pad/tampon box but at least they'd be safe from some of the messes that children can make.
You can excuse children, they're legitimately still learning how to control these things. Although I guess we're all still learning or else there wouldn't be all those jokes about sharting. Still and all, I have no idea how one would begin to address this issue. Perhaps as a medical one? Maybe the person has a nerve problem which means they can't feel anything. Or maybe the person decided they had a superpower to give literal meaning to "shit storm". Did we need that superpower? MCU, I'm looking at you. Saturating pop culture the way you have...perhaps we should have seen this coming. The writing, as they say, is on the wall.
WC: 467
NaNoWriMo count: 467
I understand that not everyone may be able to have that kind of time. Perhaps you're just trying to make a dash to the washroom and hoping it all works out. But my friends, would you not heed the warning rumbles of your tumbly all the more when you are using a shared washroom? A shared washroom that first you must exit your office to access? Because the only thing that makes sense of the FIRST shitsplosion I saw in our office washrooms was that someone dallied too long. They finished writing that email. Sipped those last dregs of coffee. Fake laughed at a colleague's joke too long in the hallway. How else can you explain diarrhoea dregs on the back wall of the toilet stall??
Or who in their right minds would attempt a hover squat with the dark waters flowing from you!??! And granted that perhaps the person misread their body's cues the first time around...would they not be leery of something the SECOND time around? Yes, that's right -- not one, but two stalls were defiled! The second time the person responsible didn't even attempt to tidy the toilet seat. And the poor cleaners! They thought the worst they'd face was perhaps an overflowing pad/tampon box but at least they'd be safe from some of the messes that children can make.
You can excuse children, they're legitimately still learning how to control these things. Although I guess we're all still learning or else there wouldn't be all those jokes about sharting. Still and all, I have no idea how one would begin to address this issue. Perhaps as a medical one? Maybe the person has a nerve problem which means they can't feel anything. Or maybe the person decided they had a superpower to give literal meaning to "shit storm". Did we need that superpower? MCU, I'm looking at you. Saturating pop culture the way you have...perhaps we should have seen this coming. The writing, as they say, is on the wall.
WC: 467
NaNoWriMo count: 467
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