Sunday, May 31, 2009

You + Me = We

Really, the key to a relationship is honesty. As long as you do that and once you’ve figured out that it doesn’t have to be a cookie-cutter marriage – it’s just easy. After, of course, you find someone that you want to spend that amount of time with.

A lot of my friends are couples or in long-term relationships and those were the words of two who have been married ten-plus years. Seeing the couples makes me think that it would be fun to be dating someone, not that I have all that much free time. Still something to think about.

Perfect weekend

I’ve kinda been one of those people who half-scoffed and half-believed that if you put energy out into the universe, the universe will provide. This weekend, the universe provided. Friday night, a friend and I had patio tables for two show up wherever we went. Saturday morning had a fun run on a new route with the same friend and then we had a tasty brunch. I got a chance to clean up my apartment before going to a friend’s patio and then out dancing. Slept through the run on Sunday, had brunch with friends and then to the beach

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Healthy at Any Size

I wanted to hold off on posting yesterday until I had weighed myself on the fancy scale at the gym. After due consideration of my diet’s menu I decided to say fuck it to the pervasive spirit of body hatred and continue on my quest to make life-long changes in my habits. So a week has gone by and my weight is 184.8. Which is a miniscule change for the worse but then again it could be some water retention. The point is that I went to the gym on my own and did my work out. Moderation is key.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Neither here nor there

I don’t know what I want to write about today. A series of ideas have been popping to mind but nothing that I’ve been particularly inspired by. I’m really looking forward to this weekend when I’ll be going to a friend’s birthday party and a soccer team BBQ. I want to do a clean sweep of my apartment and shake the dust out of every where. I want to relax and play in the sun and meet someone new. Someone to flirt with and smile and laugh and do naughty things, perhaps all at the same time. That’d be fun.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Border Incursion

It is important to remember that lines are drawn for a reason but it works better if both parties are aware of the line in the first place. Yesterday I found out that I will hold my ground when my line is crossed. Hold my ground and prepare a first strike for that matter, though I didn’t actually do anything yet. Which is for the best as sometimes my temper is counter productive to my end means. Well, most times actually. Now that I am calm and collected I can think, plan and make it clear where my boundaries lie.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Screw the roses, send me the thorns

I love to stretch; I love the way the body morphs and elongates – shoulders dropping, breasts raising and the curve of the waist stretching. I look good stretched out! Just keep me on the rack and I’ll be happy – not to mention my muscles will be happy at finally loosening up. There is the flip side of stretching when overly tight muscles spasm and don’t let go. It starts out with a tense resistance and then like the quick snap of a rubber band to the eye your body curls around the offending appendage, desperate to make it feel better.

Monday, May 25, 2009


We don’t judge here at Kirsten Inc. I always say that, or various renditions thereof, but it’s not really true. I think it’s a laudable goal – not to judge others. It would be more accurate to say that I don’t judge others any harsher than I judge myself – which is not to the benefit of the world since I judge myself pretty stringently. It takes a lot to be a decent human being and as the good deeds of my friends show me, I’ve still got a way to go myself. Making the effort to be conscientious is always worthwhile.

Sherlock Holmes


vs. Holmes

vs. Holmes
Mary Russell...and Sherlock Holmes

As an actor, I think that Robert Downey Jr. is quite capable, with his surprising ability to sing, and even more so now that he has gotten the better of his addiction to drugs. As the current representation of Sherlock Holmes however, I am not entirely certain that he gets my vote of confidence. Jeremy Brett in the BBC productions of Doyle’s novels was so amazing that it’s hard to imagine anyone else in the role (although there have been many others that lacked luster). Perhaps I’m more concerned by Guy Ritchie’s interpretation of Sherlock Holmes. He’s no J.J. Abrams.


Maybe this is unfair, especially in light of all Michael has done, but sometimes I don’t think guys get pregnancy. Or maybe it’s just that the person I’m working with is very driven. Lots of respect, I’d love to be a part of the society he envisions but in the meantime, when I say I’m ridiculously busy because a friend is in the hospital and needs my help – I’m not impressed when I’m met with a blank stare. I appreciate all he’s done for the newsletter especially with such a recalcitrant Board but a little empathy would not go amiss.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Quiet Time

A tarot card jumped out at me this morning as I was shuffling the deck: Quiet Time. I don’t give myself much quiet time, mostly because there seems to be so much to do. And because part of my nature is a Libra, I like to make sure that I’m not unfairly paying attention to one thing with the result that I spread my attention thinly all around. For a Libra/Virgo my time management is wretched. I want to spend some time on the couch chilling and watching Stargate but neither apartment is clean enough to relax in. I’m lazy.

Clicky for's funny

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Weighing In

I currently weigh 184.4lbs, as per the scale at my gym. And it’s a hulking digital beast so I’m fairly confident that it is accurate. Before the holidays I weighed 175lbs; portion control is not my friend. Yesterday I got back to the gym with my trainer and had a major ass-kicking. Today I’m going food shopping and tomorrow the 14-day diet kick start begins.

I’m in the timing booth, planting my poles and kicking my tails one last time. Great push with my arms and the legs propel me through the start, striding through the gates. Bring it on.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Prose Revisited

There’s a moment when I look at you
And no speech is left in me
My tongue breaks
Then fire races under my skin
And I tremble and grow pale
For I am dying of such love
Or so it seems to me


A moment
When it seems (a) tongue races my skin
I break and tremble
Such love grow(s) pale
And I look to you
There’s no speech for me
I am dying of fire left
In me
Under (me)
And then at my (core is a cinder)
So is (it to be quenched) or (burst into flame anew)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Cheating slightly, written a year or more ago:

Such words would I write, with such passion as would sear them unto the page not with ink but the message of my heart and my soul. It is said, ‘writing is the shaping of letters to represent spoken words which, in turn, represent what is in the soul’. Such a large task we lay upon ink and paper. What are our tools, by what standard do we measure the worth of the scatterings of an alphabet. A scribe’s life is made up of many inconsequential words and a smattering of quotations.


Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize

I really like the way the use of “down” shifts meaning with each lyric, it adds a subtle nuance. I tried something similar here:

How much is the trust of a girl worth?
How much is the worth of this girl to you?
Why do I still ask these questions
I’ve stopped expecting answers to
To questions I never asked
To questions I should’ve asked
I’ve never been the questioning kind

Jacked In

As I’ve been dogsitting for a friend the last week I have not been at home over much. I’m essentially there in the mornings to change and prepare my lunches and then it’s work and back to the animals. As a result over the long weekend I didn’t have access to the internet because I didn’t go back to my apartment. I had twenty-five emails in one account, thirty emails in another account and forty-eight items in my Reader. Now, over half of the items in each account were junk but even so. I want an iPhone to keep up.

Worth Thinking About

“You need to draw a line in the sand. Actually, you need to draw a line in wet cement, let it harden and then don’t cross that line.”

“I love you mom, that was most poetical.”

There is often something to be said for having a mother that would’ve been an English teacher had I not popped up in the middle of her university career. That something is: darn handy. From the school papers to on stage comedic shenanigans to advice. The woman is succinct. Not to mention listed in the phone book so I’d best listen to her advice!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Been there, done that

I am the luckiest girl in the world tonight because my friends are taking me to see Fleetwood Mac – with all the original band members! It’s like Christmas, birthday, Easter, Halloween and every other holiday rolled into one awesome evening. I like to joke that I’m 80 inside but the truth of the matter is that I do believe in reincarnation. And I fully believe that I was a young man rocking it out in the 70s that died of a massive drug overdose. I love much about that decade – the music, the clothes, the culture. Just not the drugs!


I’ve pulled a few tarot cards recently and they tell me I’m blocked – not listening to myself or channeling positive thoughts and energy. I’ve set the tarot aside for a couple of months but it has been very insightful in the past. A large part of it for me is being receptive to what you’re already trying to communicate to yourself. Sometimes I have selective hearing.

What? Hear that?

Mine is not a traditional tarot deck but rather a fairy one given to me by my childhood best friend. For her, I wish I had heard and not just listened.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Geek Lite

Folks, the internets don’t think I’m geeky. It’s true: I don’t know any computer programming languages, I can’t fiddle with the hardware of a computer and ever hope to have it work again, I’ve never played D&D and I listen to the same five albums. I think I’m in danger of losing my self-granted status of “geek”. I am very focused on my particular interests but how much of a Xena fan am I? I haven’t watched all the commentaries. I wouldn’t recognize the crew names! Worse, I don’t know all the Trek episode titles! I’m having an identity crisis.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

You're so funny

A friend of mine jokingly suggested doing an improv comedy class with her in the fall. As much as I do goof around, I’m really only able to work improv humor with people that I know. My mom and I bounce off of each other really well. My friends feed me comments that just escalate into insanity. The fact of the matter is, though many people suggest that I act or otherwise perform – I don’t do well in front of crowds. I don’t do well at the center of attention of people I don’t know. But I like to laugh.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Good energy

Two things from my childhood that are with me today: when I have a nightmare, I turn over my pillow to leave the dream on the other side and “in blue, out red”. The latter is a tenet that is so ingrained that I am sometimes taken by surprise at how often it surfaces.

Breathe in, blue – calm – grounding – flowing – ease – opening skies.

Breathe out, red – energy – agitation – fear – restlessness – heat.

Feel the center of the earth pulling through the soles of my feet and grabbing hold of my umbilicus mundi. Strength and support are given while negativity drains away.

Mother's Day

I don’t remember much from when I was a child; coherent memories beginning from when I was about 8 or 9. Prior to that I only have scattered memories but I do remember one or two of my temper tantrums. Those two words would make most any parent shudder and any by-standers wince. I threw a dollhouse at a door. I would kick and punch furniture. In a word, I was a terror. I work to repress that temper and the manipulative nature behind it. I remember my mom holding me and saying, “We’re not going to do this anymore.”


I’m a horrible flirt; both in the sense that I flirt relentlessly and that my flirting is terrible. For some reason I can flirt non-stop with friends or someone who is unavailable but when it comes to actual interest in someone? I clam up. On Saturday evening, I joined my friends for a birthday shindig and flirted with everyone there. One married couple and two engaged couples. I don’t ever expect anything to come of my flirting and the odd time something has I have been in the uncomfortable position of explaining that I flirt with everyone. I’m a tease.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Take a moment

The same stream of life
that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world
and dances in rhythmic measures.

It is the same life
that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.

It is the same life
that is rocked in the ocean-cradle
of birth and of death,
in ebb and in flow.

I feel my limbs are made glorious
by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages
dancing in my blood this moment.

English translation of "Stream of Life" by Rabindranath Tagore, as provided by Where the Hell is Matt?

Not to be confused with,Where the Hell is Truckee?

Star Trek Global Release

I have been helping the organizers of the mini-Star Trek convention by putting up posters. I have also approached some other businesses that, while not specific to fans of Science Fiction/Fantasy, are still likely venues. I find it funny that most people when I tell them about the event will say that they have seen some Star Trek. But, by and large, they point out that they think the new movie will be good not just for those crazy people that dress up for conventions and at the theatre.


I say, live a little – one to beam up.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Purple prose

Twitterpated, addlepated, be still my beating heart for though I am no shrinking violet I would fain gather support from the bracing wall than collapse and huddle at unworthy feet. Where else should I seek repose than my bower all dark-draped and hidden from regard. Shall I lay my head amongst a bed of ashes and arise new in the flames, uncaring of the scorch marks that I bear. Arise and stretch tight-wound limbs and soul ready to thunder over plains and storm over mountains. Arise and echo the solar winds through my vocal chords. Arise and hear words unspoken.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Xena & Gabrielle OTP

I am such a sucker for romance and the whole concept of soul mates. This video of Xena and Gabrielle is so touching because you see all rough moments that they overcome. Always there for each other. It’s like Sam and Jack, the simple words they speak, “Thank you, sir. For what? For being there for me. Always.”

Toujours. Siempre.

Though the path may waver beneath my feet, my gaze shall remain e’er true for no eyes saw clearer than my heart. Let us gaze to the stars that centuries may remember our faces and our eyes shining into infinity.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Over Anxious

When I was a kid and my parents went out, I would stay awake until I heard them come home because I was afraid that they would get into an accident and die. I would throw out my mother’s pills – though most would’ve been vitamins along with the diet pills. I was afraid that she’d slim down to nothing and I would lose her. Even now, if I don’t get a return call in a reasonable period of time my next message will be, “Are you alive? Are you hurt? Call me!” I don’t know why I get so afraid.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Laundry Sorting

The most common clutter in my apartment is clothing; my sorting leaves something to be desired. There are the pajamas and odd pair of running shorts on the floor of my bathroom from jumping into the shower. Crossing the hallway to my bedroom skirts shoes and soccer gear to arrive at the foot of my bed. At night, the bed has the pile of discarded clean laundry that I did not wear to work. In the morning, the pile was transferred to the floor so I can sleep. The living room, well, it suffers from my striptease practicing. Just kidding!

It's just a sniffle!

When faced with a sniffling nose, headache and a odd bag of assorted symptoms I will staunchly decry, “It’s allergies! I’m not sick, my allergies are acting up again!” Sadly, after a valiant struggle on my part – or so I’d like to think – I succumb and admit that, perhaps!, I might indeed have a cold. Such is the case at the moment, as my symptoms first began after I was exposed to cat dander…and also to my friend who had been ill a couple of days. Six of one, half dozen of the other. I’m telling you – it’s my allergies!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Free Comic Day

Today is International Free Comic Day! This wonderful day you can walk into any comic book store and receive a free comic, just for going in. That’s pretty awesome. Most comic publishers produce special comics for today so it’s not just old comics that no one wants. I don’t often read comics myself but I really love graphic novels.

So I’ll be spending my day picking up free comics and putting up posters for the Khan-Con. Then I’ll get to visit with some friends and play some board games! All in all, a delightfully geeky way to spend the day.

Friday, May 1, 2009


I eat dried apricots as though they were Oreo cookies; sometimes I bite right into them, a sweet, tangy yielding morsel. Other times I’ll take my thumbs and edge the two halves apart, roll one half between my fingers and nibble away. Still other times I will worry the edges with my teeth and pull the apricot apart, my fingers sticky from holding it. The dried fruit has so much more depth and texture than when the fruit is juicy fresh. Dried blueberries are similar but I find the way fresh berries sweet pop over the tongue wins every time.


The summer Blockbuster season has opened and I attended the midnight preview of the movie that is kicking it off, Wolverine. I was initially supposed to be going with a friend as we have been eagerly awaiting Hugh Jackman…I mean, the movie release. Unfortunately she fell ill and my running partner (in crime) attended instead. We had a delightful time playing cards in line for three hours before we got to go into the theatre. It was a lot of fun and dispelled much of the squick from X3 for me. Lots of action and amazing effects, with good plot!

Star Trek!

Facebook isn’t all stalking and too much personal information, it’s also the wondrous deliverer of news like the Khan-Con! Yes, that’s right, there is going to be mini Star Trek convention here in Vancouver and I’m going! And because of course, I have been wanting to do less – I will be volunteering. Hah. It’s another chance to wear my uniform out and about. I’ll be attending the opening night of the new Star Trek movie for that express purpose. This event is run by some apparently like-minded people so if this goes well, I might have some new friends! Khaaaaaaan!